princess diary

2009-11-25T16:35:00.002+08:00

one of the few days that im not napping on my off days..i decided to update the much neglected blog.

i shall start with my wish list since the much-loved christmas is on the way...afterwhich is my bday, so you guys have 1-2 months to save up. you are welcome!

jill sander's collection of clothes which i have been eyeing since the stock arrived in store yesterday.
iphone.
white bbg watch.
nice handbands.
a pair of diamond studs for my ear lobes.
1 year's supply of ice cream. preferrably from venezia's nutella and belgian choc flavours.
$500 vouchers for me to make new pair of glasses.
1 year's supply of buffet vouchers.
vacation to hokkaido.

last of it all...a tall order...A HOUSE of my own.

most recent news..i got transferred to 313 which was a goal i set when i joined the company. i sort of achieved both goals, became store manager and now moving on to the biggest store but somehow i am not very excited abt it. its another round of endless work and long hours and slimming period for me. im standin at 45kg now which i think its not bad at all.

maybe the press event does excite me a little and gosh i didnt even know that we do inivte some big shots to our opening preview, when i was reading her world mag last month, i was like "you mean we invited her to ion opening? for wat?" nonetheless, i guess its always beneficial to have a wide ranger of customers to the store.

the fashion show shd be quite interesting too i guess. i hope i will be able to bring some pple in! (don even know if im invited?! shd be rite since im the sm...) anyhow, i was just too bored in store the past 1 week, just not used to standing around and not activating my brains.

while im really worried abt how am i gg to run the store with so many staff and that kind of size of the store, im thankful that im given this opportunity to run this store and im so glad that the staff i chose are coming to join me, they will be part of my motivation. beloved is rite, dont like one black sheep spoils everything else that is beautiful. :)

work is sometimes not just work, for me, work has become a huge part of me considering the effort and time i spend there, thats why i cant stand any negativity but i have myself to blame anyway, i didnt know that spending too much time on a person will result in betrayal. kj said "u cannot trust anyone, it will only end up in betrayal." i told him, this is not how its supposed to be! having said that, i shd really not invest too much personal hopes in someone..just leave it to the person to decide what they want to do. anyway, dear is rite, they are oredi adults, if they cant make decisions for themselves, no one would be able to.

i hope i will really get better and progress here. cheers to a better and happier 2010!

i cant believe it, its been a year oredi...last year this time, i was still in japan ahhaha..i miss japan, awesome convenience stores and absolutely delicious choco pies and choco mousse, the confusing shinjuku station, the yummy lobster bisque soup in soup stock, the tangy soba, the huge supermarkets and my comfy apartment..ahhh..wonderful memories.

last heard lots of drama in sch..im glad im out of it and now that im out of it, i wonder why pple spend so much time making somethg out of nothg and why do they hurt others deliberately? i haven heard of so much drama..but eversince she came into the sch, i have heard more and more. she has definitely added lots of spice in the depart. ok shall not discuss abt her in my blog.

i went to have ikea breakfast today, finally!we talked over breakfast, finished all the food we got, walked ard in the empty store and it felt so comfortable not seeing crowds. it was just a simple morning out and i love it! having breakfast with someone you love and just eating and talking is so soothing. i miss having breakfasts with twinnie, i always ordered fishball noodles and she will eat wanton mee. come to think of it, we haven had supper together. but i can imagine her ordering milo peng..ahahaha ok twinnie, next time we go jalan kayu with kei and yoyo ok? and the guys too!

i watched twilight on dvd and its amazingly boring..pls dont watch, i cannot comprehend whats the ra-ra abt among the teens. i think the new tvb drama gong xin ji is quite nice, might want to buy and watch.

ok am distracted by tv now, shall end this post now, btw, come to 313 and support!

2009-11-11T22:45:00.002+08:00

haven blogged in eons..

i went for a haircut today, had a short conversation over the phone with 2 best buddies, twinnie and daniel and i feel close to them tho we were separated by distance. i suppose thats how true blue friends will make you feel, never distant, always close at heart. love you guys..

went to parkway and saw evan and her husband, i was like wah...seems like a mini gathering somehow, first talked to twinnie and daniel then see evan..haha wat a coincidence!

things at work are getting heavier and heavier and i am beginning to feel negative at work..i am tired of feeling tired. there are so many things i need to do at work and most of the times i am thinking of helping others to clear their work so that they dont have to stay so late but end up, i am the one staying up until 2-3 am..i asked myself, what do i learn in the end? im always fighting fire and doing damage control for others..is this what i have to do?

there is another door open now which came as a pleasant surprise, when i received the msg, i didnt know how to react. i dont want to disappoint kj but this is an opportunity for me to have a more stable working hours which also means i can go back to church and most imptly, i can serve again. there are too many concerns i have which is making me feel quite lost at this juncture..

im praying for peace, be it at work, relationships with other or in decision-making...so please pray for me..thks.

ok congrats to myself and starhub, i might not have to switch to ST to get the iphone..wait and see what starhub comes up with..if i have the patience to wait. hehe..

2009-09-02T15:56:00.000+08:00

finally i see normal settings on blogspot...what a stupid cycle that technology has to depend on technology eventually.

anyway thks to all of you who oredi knew my big news and i wouldnt be able to make it without your support and prayers. thk you for believing me and giving me your encouragement. the most impt man in my life now has been an ardent supporter in whatever i do, pampering my worn out life with much love. thk you my dear love.

and above all, praise the Lord who has always been faithful and giving me nothg less than overwhelmin me with blessings and angels around me to protect me.

so japan, here i come again! gg to eat you up! hahaha..

i realised that no one has been calling me by my chinese name anymore...feels weird. haahah i was addressed by this name 3 full years only at one place...now it feels like everyone only knows me by janet.

still haven been meeting up with twinnie and girls, really want to spend some time with them and know how they are doing. well at least i did spend some time meeting ivy after she came back from states, i guess it really takes effort, she made an effort to bake some nice pasties and drop by my store to pass them to me. i think she did it 3 times and we met up 3 times as well..wah...i guess its cos you know you wont have so much time here, thats why you try your very best to meet up with your loved ones. we wont feel it until time is running out, thats what pastor always says, not much time oredi, quickly reach out.

there is some sort of connection you have with another person altho you dont meet them often but there are those whom you feel that you are totally out of their life. we always say "meet up with you again" but it doesnt happen. i rem lin and i wanted to meet up weekly since we stay so nearby but it just didnt work out, days passed and weeks just flew by and before you know it, it was 6 months ago when you two last met.

i guess my working hours also makes it very tough for others to accomodate my time. well, since i want to improve this situation!!! i shall not lament but will continue to improve all these thgs and love my life! i know i have pple who love me out there..thk you!! *muacks muacks!!

2009-08-11T18:47:00.000+08:00

many times, we need assurance, to tell us that we are still the most wonderful people around altho we pretty duslikeable at times, we need to know that others hate the same thing or person as we do, we just need someone to assure us, to love us altho we are so unlovable. i really thank god that i have these angels with me all the while.

thank you all, for loving me.

2009-07-28T14:12:00.000+08:00

ok blogspot's new post entry looks more normal now however the tool bar is still missing.

anyway after watching harry potter and the half blood prince, couldnt help but thank god that our tickets were free and that i had gd company else it will just add on to the woes of the anaemic show. you would think that this instalment is very much related to the "half-blood prince" just as the previous did had much to do with their themes. the disappointment came when professor snape just nonchalantly uttered " i am the half-blood prince"..what!!??? i was more disappointed that there wasnt much "magic" going on in hogwarts than dumbledore's death. i though the way he passed on was quite cool anyway. the whole movie was dark..literally, i tot it was the theatre but the picture itself was shot in a gloomy winter. sad. i still give my vote to LOTR for being the most awesome epic to watch.

went to attend my own church concert "light the way" with ivy and cher, it was an awesome experience! i felt so lifted and it was great to sing to God with all my breath. i lost my voice after the concert ended and even so, it was an amazing evening for me and i feel extremely proud of my church for composing such beautiful songs that encourages every soul. God is so good to us. i cant wait for the editing to be completed, i think i want to use the songs to bless others as well.

i was a little..actually very upset on saturday when 2 unhappy incidents happened just one after another. i prayed for peace and joy a and i must admit it took me a while to calm myself down. the human heart, the srtongest yet also the most fragile of all elements. it is true that only God can teach you how to love, only his love will help you to tide over the troubled times when you dun feel like loving anymore. if god can love someone unworthy like me, i think i should begin to love others more.

didnt achieve the goals i set last week for this week. now im just going to forget abt it and start setting goals for next week.

go cycling with beloved.
eat more nice lotte choco pies.( should be quite easy to accomplish)
go swimming.
praise 5 staff everyday.

i really miss dancing with charisa, jean, cher and joann..its going to be 1 year soon..i need to decide my long term plans. do i want to continue? give me your wisdom oh god.

its another windy day with blue skies outside my balcony..ahhh..god is so good to me. gave me my favourite weather.

hey twinnie, i love you. hope we can meet up soon!
jia you kei, god will open doors for you. love you!
jia you too yoyo, you will see the fruits of your labour soon. love you too!

to me and beloved, let's work hard for us too. love ya :)

2009-07-23T18:19:00.005+08:00

i dunno whats wrong with blogspot, or something wrong with my lappie...the window to blog looks weird, i cant even find my icons!! the fonts, the colours, the entire tool bar is gone!

i went to ballet under the stars last saturday, yeshhh..after my absence last year, it felt great to be there,watching ballet with my beloved. we packed lots of snacks, most of it went to my stomach which was prob why i was down with sore throat the next day :( beloved was not used to grabbing a seat publicly, so i let my bitchy side of me led the way. we walked right into the crowd and centre of the fort canning green and loudly claimed a small area "we sit here la!" in actual fact, the space was only worthy of one butt but we managed to squeeze our 2 butts in and unpacked our food. well..we were happy to be there at least we were not blocked! :) we enjoyed the performance a great deal but i was just much disgusted by the reactions of a girl to my right who cldnt help but kept looking in our direction. she laughed when the show was going on which i thought was super rude! she obviously didnt appreciate the time and effort devoted by the dancers and did some silly little gestures only worthy to be seen the zoo. she lied down just next to my bottle and i had the impulse to "accidentally" tipped my 1.25l bottle right on her face. she is just being a lousy audience..

anyway i had a haircut. tryin to get used to it tho.

i think i have been too unhappy..cos im always trying to get pple to be like me, to think like me and to work like me. sometimes, hmm..most of the times, i think its bettter not to be like me. i need to be more flexible. focus on solutions rather than problems.

i wonder if i will stay longer until i see the fruits of my labour or will history repeat itself again? i left before it happened.

sometimes i ask myself, do you really know what you want? how come others are always trying to make you believe that what they are doing for you is really what you want for yourself? do we all know what we really want or we are just trying to mould myself into someone whom our society or our organisation wants?

this is what i want to do next week;

eat healthy.
prepare lunchbox for myself.
meet up with my gfs.
adore my new haircut.
be more thrifty.
dont harp on nitty gritty stuff.
go watch sing-dollar?

ok dun set too many goals else will be too stressed trying to keep up. ok move on..

2009-07-23T16:59:00.003+08:00

the young ones...

the things we did when we were young..

we carried umbro bags to school.

we bought 3 sweets for 10c.

snacks like "bee-bee", "kaka" and flavoured "sng-baos" (aka ice packs" after school.

a bowl of noodles in the tuckshop costs about 30c.

"maggie" was the only instant noodles brand we knew.

bus fare cost 25c.

you can purchased a movie ticket for $3.50

drinks in the coffeeshop came in glass bottles instead of cans.

we wore bata shoes, layered with "white liquid"

we used white chalk to "colour" our dirty shoes in class.

our boards in classrooms were green and we used chalks.

we played "zero-point", 5 stones, one-leg, catching, hide and seek during recesses.

we rode our bicycles to catch spiders.

we shared silly ghost stories about the top floor toilets in school that were never true.

the bespectacled wore think glasses.

we sat on wooded chairs and used wooded tables which occasionally saw some warsps building some nests inside the nails.

we exchanged "idol-cards" and sold shiny ones as well.

we rushed home to watch cartoons at 6:30pm after school.

our public phones were orange.

the dunkin-donuts at fengshan CC was the "in" place.

"elle" was considered branded.

your dad poured your milo on the porcelain tray for you to drink.

shouts of "ma peew po" were heard in the evening along the corridor. (young lads selling newspaper)

until more memories flood my mind..those were the days...

2009-06-17T14:07:00.006+08:00

okay, first off day of the week and i get my sats off back again!! yes!! thank you, God and thank you, my boss. thank you for rewarding me.

the chatterbox is back as per requested..heheh

am going to meet up with the girls later, yes! gossip time! hahhaa and catching up time as well. the last time we met was in may, for twinnie's bday and now we are meeting again, thats not too bad i think, we are meeting once a month at least. which is both glad and sad to know, we used to see each other almost every single day of the year and now we have to be contented with just meeting up, hopefully once a month. its just the same thing that happened once you leave your school upon graduation, all those promises to meet have vanished into bubbles. so im really glad that im meeting the girls today :) now and then i do see some familiar faces and usually i dont recall their names. the amazing thg is, ALL of whom i saw still recognise me and remember my name.

alex : janet!
me walking around with my clipboard, jumped to his voice and frantically trying to match his face to all the schs i have attended and processin his name at the same time.
me: oh alex! *after 5 secs (not bad, i didnt have to buy 10s more to recall his name.) you look different!
alex: you still look the same! same hairstyle. ( too which i disagree, how could i possibly highlighted my hair when i was in 3E3?!)

you know when pple say you look the same, i dunno whether to take it as a compliment or not. does that mean i look as young as when i was 15? or i oredi looked like my age now when i was 15? why is it that pple who have seen me thru my years always say that i look the same aka younger than my actual age and pple who just met me thinks that im in my late twenties? why is my face so inconsistent? i think when i am at work,i look serious so that attributes to "you look 30."

staff innocently asked : may i know how old are you?
me: how "old" do you think i am?
staff : 30?
my heart broke into pieces and i looked over sternly : you dont have to come for work anymore.

how does old and experienced relate to each other? are they always parallel to each other? i have held 3 full time and 2 pt jobs in my life which prob doesnt happen to someone who is much older than me. does that mean i am old? since teachin days i have established this belief in me, old doesnt mean experienced, of cos when you live longer, you are exposed to more experiences but if i can be exposed to the same opportunities too. but well, one thing that is true, when you are older, opportunities come to to you, when you are young, you need to create them yourself.

ok im just trying to come up with some rubbish to eradicate the sick feeling of being called "30" even my mom has been remindin me that im almost there when i showed her a strand of gray hair altho i firmly believed its due to stress!!!

anyway i think being with pple who are older or looks older may help me find my youth back. the sad thg is, im surrounded by pple who are younger than me 95% of the time :( my youth can only be found at home now. sad..

SQ is married. its awesome to be part of the wedding esp when its someone whom you love and have been thru your growing years with you. i feel so glad for her that she has found someone whom she can spend her life with, lovingly. its just different when you attend your friend's wedding and your cousin's whom you dont really care abt. attending her wedding was more of an obligation than invitation. it was just sit and eat then go home kind of thg. sad but true.

i saw her world wedding mag when i bought her world mag and was tempted to buy. but for wat? just wanted to buy and see the princessy gowns and little cute flowers they used to decorate the dining table or the calla lilies the bride will be holding in her hands. i suddenly recalled that when i was young, i liked to draw wedding gowns because they simply looked gorgeous in magazines. of cos i wasnt that artistic to come up with any proper drawings, the point is, i just like lookin at wedding gowns. i think SQ's maroon bustier gown was gorgeous and her blue cheongsam which made her looked like miss hongkong was also a fantastic choice.

the breeze is lullaby-ing me to slp now but i shall not waste time slping. ill go read and yes, i prepared lunch and dinner for myself for the past 3 days! minus 3 days worth of oil and msg at work! *clap clap*

its blue sky today, just hanging outside my balcony now..ahhh..i love blue sky..

2009-06-12T15:00:00.003+08:00

finally found a skin that i like and decided to only blog after putting up the new skin.

lots of thoughts to blabber so here i go...

met up with previous superior and am happy for her that she will be the one who will be making things better, besides her, i dont think anyone else will be bold enough to step up and make changes, good and wise changes. if only this was done sooner, prob i wldnt have left but well im glad with the current opportunity that is given to me. God really blesses, i received a fatter bonus than the first time, yes, it has been 2 bonuses since we opened, the higher-ups are doing us justice with all the long working hours. it feels great that your superiors actually appreciate your labour. well, your labour in God will never be in vain, amen!

with the expulsion of bad influence, staff morale has been improving, recently. there is also a new influx of new staff who are positive at the beginning. after talking to the staff, i realised some of us are really not that well-liked but they choose to ignore it or rather they think they are well-liked by everyone. as usual, the person who is overly confident of herself always thinks that she is well-received by everyone and what she refused to know is, they actually hate her! she actually thinks that she speaks well but they feel that she is being tactless and bitchy. to top it off, she also thinks that she is very likeable by our boss. i think whatever she does is none of my business as long as she doesnt stay in the same store as me after july and i would like to see how she regards all the negative comments she gets as "im popular". despite her confidence, she just doesnt face confrontations face to face.

oh man, i feel crappy after writing all the above, it makes me feel even more negative. ok good for her, that she feels the smartest and most confident among us. congrats.

anyway, about staff, please all of you, do what is right and not what is popular cos the latter will just make you lose your identity. they are pple in their twenties and yet sometimes the things that they do is simply senseless. they do things to harm themselves and destroy their career.

i wonder what did i wanted to blog about...oh yah, went for my good, old batam retreat and it was awesome. relaxing as usual and had a great treat to spa. ahhh..i just slept to the chattering of birds and whispering of the neverending breeze. altho once in a while, a huge fly will swoosh past and provide an alternative "surround sound" noise. the only part that was disappointing was we didnt get to sing karaoke cos the system was down in all the rooms and the technician stays a few miles away in the city which will take him an hour to reach us. we waited for half and hour and decided to be tv addicts instead but ended up with no better tv programmes as well.

i chanced upon a blog and the writer, who is actually my staff, thinks nothing of pple who works in retail line and demeans all her colleagues and condescends someone who is interested in her, a loser and maybe a forever good-for-nothg. poor souls, all those who think that they are being accepted as her friends just becos she is a plain spoilt brat *she quoted herself* and they just think its interesting to be identified as "her clique" cos she is aloof and cool. all she needs to do is say smthg negative about one person and the rest just follow suit. poor, poor souls and especially the one who fancies her, all of you are losers in her eyes and she prob wont want to be identified as your once, colleague or even acquaintance.

i pity those and especiallly her, who thinks that a degree or double degree holder is all you need in life to get everything you want. no wonder you are depressed. or rather, you are empty. you will never get to enjoy life, or perhaps you will never live a life, if you are just another materialistic narcisstic.

ok enuff abt others, now to myself, besides my short escapade to batam, i am hanging on to a belief or rather, a promise that i will be getting my own soon which creates some sort of euphoria in me. i do want to believe that it will happen but worry that it wont. thats the thg abt believing in promises, if it happens, good for you. if it doesnt, you have to accept the reasons that didnt allow it to realised which is unacceptable to me. it boils down to dependance. if you want to depend your happiness on someone, be ready to be disapponted. when i was anti-marriage, i said this to my friends, "if you placed hopes in someone, you have to have double portion of space inside you to accept disappointments." if i have made enuff money, i wldnt have to worry abt having someone to make my dreams come true. thats the thg with me again, i want to be financially independent yet i want to be a housewife, too idealised a dream. but i believe, many women share this dream with me.

until i am financially independent then, im waiting to see what happens this year.

2009-05-09T11:40:00.004+08:00

haven blogged for eons eversince store opening..smtimes i have a lot of thgs to blog abt but when i start my lappie for that once or twice a wk, i just wanna quickly settle whatever i need to online and then proceed to more impt thgs.

days haven been packed with work to do, be it on my off days or at work. many times i wonder, why are there so many of us there and im the only one who feels burdended with work? almost no diff from teaching and now, is like double the responsibility. the comfort is when i got home and after eating, i just dropped dead on my bed. sometimes, fortunate me will see familiar faces in store and it connects me to where i was before or their presence brings me back to a world i used to live in.

i saw my ex 5/3 students, they called me "wang laoshi, wo men hen xiang nian ni" i felt so warm when i heard that. at least i know smwhere deep down, they appreciated whatever i had done for them and even tho i was not the best teacher around, i definitely gave them my best. here in the store, even tho you try to give yr staff and customers your best, they deem that this is what you ought to do. customers always think they have the right to demand and get what they want, if not then your customer service is really lousy.

i have people coming to me and just insist on what they want and then start blackmailing us that they will write to the press and complain to directors and such, i mean, what can i do if you really want to do that? im merely following company's directives. if you cant even tell the difference from packaged items and non-packaged items, dont know the difference between sunday and thursday, dont even know what size you wear and buy thgs without trying, throw thgs at my staff and claim that all these above are our fault then period.

i do feel very demoralised whenever i experienced pple who just take customer service as more of "we-will-do-what-you-demand-us-to". i think this is really immature. and then i tell myself smtimes, this job is really not for me cos i despise these customers. but of cos, there are customers who genuinely treats us like human beings as well. some of them do realised that while they have their customer's rights, we do have human rights as well.

still, i do feel proud of my company but am definitely not proud of shoppers who dont respect our products and staff.

anyway, my exam is on monday and i haven even started on it yet. i feel very drained and dunno what i have left to study for the exam. smthg that will liven me up, im serving today and tmr! yes, at the expense of revision time, but i know i will feel beta emotionally after i served altho i will feel tired physically. joy of my Lord is my strength, amen.

miss spending time with pple i love, altho i haven been seeing them but i do hope that they are doing better than me, at least.

twinnie, i know sch is tought but jia you ok...i always know you can do it better than anyone! miss ya lots!

kei, you also jia you ok..God has given us joy and it is smthg that no one else can take it away from you, you need to find it yourself. take heart. love ya lots.

yoyo, keep going ok..you will succeed in your new career, go go babe!

lin, altho u wont read this, but i want you to know that you are always on my mind and i know our friendship will nvr waver, love you lots!

and of cos my mickey, you are the one who keeps me sane and altho drives me insane too..but i still love you.

ok lets pray for each other and keep walking together. jia you everyone.

2009-03-14T11:24:00.002+08:00

thank god for the assgnmt result and for an managaeble time in sim this sem...now heading towards exam but of cos, the store first!! am getting really excited and worried as well. still wondering what it takes to be a real good store manager or rather now, just a store manager.

love what im doing right now but still always missed being addressed as wang laoshi..well..work hard now, get the experience and the excitement and look forward to having a home of my own..a place where there is lots of love and can invite kei, yo and twinnie for mahjong or tea..or get yo to do mani for us!! yes!!!

brace myself for my future!

2009-03-11T22:41:00.001+08:00

i cheated on Reds hairdressing just now...went to jean yip instead..oppss..

2009-03-03T22:37:00.003+08:00

started trgn the staff today, i was very excited cos it feels like stepping into the classroom again..teaching adults was both diff and easy. easy as in, i dun need to get angry with them cos they somehow are more controlled beings than kids, tough also cos you need to keep them interested which is not easy to do.

it was a good day, thank God, everything went as planned and i rec good feedback, feel very encouraged to go on, another 3 more days of teaching and i think i will enjoy it. i hope the staff will too.

finally shifted into the new place, love the night view i got, i get to see the skyscrapers over at suntec and parkway parade and i get a pool view too! although its not my pool but its still a nice pool view!

hmm supposed to meet up this week with shiqiu and the girls but both failed. its been so difficult to meet up and smtimes i really just feel like sitting back and waiting for someone to call me up instead of me calling pple up. i know we all are busy and all, its just bothering me that, am i the only one who wants to meet everyone?

sigh..i want hugs from my gfs....................where are you? come out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-02-25T22:07:00.000+08:00

people nowadays are just too busy to reply sms..sad

2009-02-14T11:39:00.002+08:00

random updates....

happy V day! love ya guys lots!
i did well for my first tma! thank God lots!
good work progress but still tryin to have everyone work well together, trying to control my own emotions
moving out soon, by end feb and totally hate the packing part
need to complete 2nd assigmt
miss going out for nice dinners
went to LV and committed a crime..oppsss
felt lousy last wkend
realised that time realli flies and smtimes skipped a sec.
striving to be better each day
aiming for promo next year
wish that pple at work will learn to love each other more than themselves
hoping to meet the girls next wk

ok need to go church now, am so looking forward to serving again!! love ya..

2009-01-28T13:04:00.002+08:00

updates...

im still adapting to office work and the office hours. the daily work i do is not that boring and monotonous but it is still somewhat boring..i just sit in the same seat from 9am to 7pm and the only escapade is the toilet. im used to walking here and there, dashing frm classrooms to classrooms and standing all day long instead of sitting all day long. well, thank god, these office days will be over soon when the store opens.

i learnt a lot during the interview sessions. its been challenging to pick the best out of the grp that came and some pple we really give it to them cos of how they made us believe in them just based on first impressions. vice versa, some we just reject cos we dont buy their attitudes. pretty sad, i guess, but thats reality i suppose, whoever is more competent in selling themselves will nab a good buyer. first impressions really count. BUT, it could be wrong too. there are pple who are just good at talking and nothg else. plus, look at how twinnie, LH and best friend, HL both who did not have a gd impression of me, are now my twinnie and best friend hahhaha..well i guess im a snob at times, but who cares..haha

met twinnie, kei n caleb last wk and felt great to see them! we catched up, they watched me gobbled the cake and after that mosquitoes fed on us and we were still talking. but i guess fatigue took over us, cos i felt that we were somehow talking just for the sake of talking, it felt a little different for me. anyhow i decided to have another gathering and aim at feeling better than the last one.

i thank god and all those who have been praying for me when i was in japan, for your prayers have kept me going and god has been faithful to me. i wouldnt have been able to sustain myself during the trgn and attain this position by myself. Thank you all, for believing in me, more than i do.

though i did not expect but i know this is for the better and i accept it. i really want to learn as much as possible from my jap colleague who will be flying in and achieve the goals i have set for myself. its daunting but i want to try. i hope in april, i will be the first local store manager. and in the later part of the year, to run the biggest store in spore!

of cos, i want to be doesnt mean i can be..but i will def do my best. i know if this is not for me, god will lead me out.

i want to be the person whom i really am...

2009-01-11T17:02:00.002+08:00

2009 things-i-want list

new laptop
new ipod nano
more dresses
more shoes
new phone maybe? hw abt HTC diamond?
spirit of joy

went back to dance yesterday and felt so alived dancing. but i guess i over-danced cos my muscles are aching now. i think smtimes the reality of life or just the secular life itself tks too much away from you and you prob wont know it until you drop all baggages you have and go to God just as you are. then you realised how empty or materialistic the world has turned you into.

i really want to thank god for his grace and mercy that no matter how far you go, god is always there, waiting for you. He is never too far for you to reach. and also mickey who always just works his magic n make me feel loved and secure. my friends who love and support me, thk you kei, twinnie and yoyo.

we have decided we are a house of mousies...mickey, minnie and my jojo n casey..haha

2009-01-10T10:06:00.002+08:00

first day of work saw agressive comments and non-existing members sitting round a table. i do stand by the fact that we must agree to disagree and not that every decision can be done based on the votes of the majority. we are talking abt a pair of followers, a member whose spirit is not with us at all, one individualistic person n another who wants to lead everyone so that we dont go off track. does this combination looks like we can play by majority-wins? when the majority are not thinking at all or just choosing to make the wrong decision? this is work here not going where for lunch leh..

anyhow, ended up with a huge headache after work which din end until 7pm and went home for a gd home-cooked dinner. maybe it was the weather or the trying-to-understand her big and weird ideas which made my head weighed like ten pounds.

im looking forward to the interviews n the responses ill get from the interviewees. i think it shd be an experience for me! ok need to get back to some work!

oh im going for dance practice today! woohooo!

2009-01-05T10:54:00.002+08:00

IM BACK!!

when i walked the streets here, i feel like im a japanese in spore. i brought with me the standards of cleaniness, esp the toilets, customer service, mannerism, and dressing..i realised i miss japan!

ok going to do some catching up, unpacking which has been done for the past 2 days n still going on and pamper myself!

2008-12-19T09:23:00.003+08:00

yeahhhh!! i scored the highest for my test! 25/30, woohooo! praise the Lord!

wondering if i really want to manage the tamp store, it will def save me lots of money for transportation but i want a more challenging environment, which is in town. in fact i want to run the flagship store in sommerset. of cos it boils down to capabilities...sigh why must the ion store be delayed? hmm..maybe its gd..so that they wont feel that we are inadequate and use that as a reason to send a japanese to run the store.

ok concentrate on doing well..just continue being myself and eveything will be fine. God is with me, nothg else is bigger than that.

one more wk and my love will be sent to me, then one more wk following that, ill be returning to my land of love! the beloved island where my fanily is, where my twinnie is, where kei n caleb are, where yoyo is, where my mice are, where my blessed church resides, where my 5-star chicken rice n bakerzin are, land of my fishball noodles n yong tau hoo, ahhh..

my island home....

2008-12-17T13:51:00.002+08:00

how do you handle high expectations?
how do you handle pressure? those that come frm yourself and your superiors
how do you handle home-sickness?

i feel very tight in my heart n my brains..sometimes i feel so pressured tt i just refused to say anythg, cant rem the last time i felt this way..

everytime aft a solid lesson or after a review, ill have a headache..whats the cause of it? too much from kj? smtimes i wish he didnt tell me abt my performance..jz too much at stake now..

sigh..need peace n more peace..

"you are my resting place along the narrow highway.." find rest in the Lord

2008-12-15T20:27:00.002+08:00

oh my!!! i cant believe that its christmas nxt week! have been working until i lost count of time..sigh its so different here, i dont even have time to think abt christmas cos this is the first time im gg to shop for christmas..sad..other than the cold weather, nothg reminds me of christmas here. anyway kj said tt japanese dont celebrate christmas. they dont have chinese new year here! i wonder wat they celebrate, soba day? doriyaki day?

had an interesting conversation with val jz now..hahah she gave me free dental advice n taught me how to floss my teeth, the package included the floss itself..hahah she so cute.

went to yokohama last wkend n had fun riding the scary roller coaster rides n hahaha..audrey was so hilarious. it hasnt even started yet n she started screaming her lungs out..and wat was funny was, i was rather terrified in the beginning but cos of her screamin, i was laughing so hard until i forgot to scream. all the time i could only hear "" WAHHHHHH...AAHHAHHHHH" hahaha..it was the funniest roller coaster rides i have ever taken.

the wind was so strong that when i took a pict on the bridge, my hair n bangs were so "pong", i looked like lin ching hsia in the 60s..the moment i saw my pict, i tot i resembled my mum until audrey said i look more like lin ching hsia.i burst out laughing..the pict is in my phone..will post it when i return to sg. its super ugly yet so funny..i have never taken such an ugly pict b4..hahah

2 more wks n 4 more off days to go ard tokyo n ill be flown bk to SG. so far, i have been to

shinjuku
shinjuku-sanchome (of cos, i work there)
disneyland n disneysea
yokohama
shibuya
ginza
ikebukuro
ueno
akihabara
harajuku

next destinations,

asakusa
hakone
tokyo dome
sanrio puro land

just nice..4 more days..

2008-12-11T12:00:00.002+08:00

6 weeks in japan oredi n last evening was the happiest evenings! we went to a nice jap restuarant n order some set dinner i think. they served sm salad with ikan bilis..so nice! haah din know ikan bilis can be added into salad then their signature dish came, huge pieces of chicken cutlet which is crispy on the outside on tender n juicy on the outside..yummy!

then we started playing 5-10, as i was the winner so flo was drinking her soda a lot until she decided to suggest changing direction n kenji was on my left!! so he ended up drinking a lot..after which he started toking abt his yellow miffy n his stalker friend which he kept repeating n so loudly, we concluded that he was just getting high. but it was fun n a great way to end one day of hardcore classrm trgn.

been taught so much in a day, i wonder how much can i absorb n how much do i really know? my brain started freezing at 5pm and i din really listent to what he was saying after that. im wondering if we will be ready after these 9 wks of trgn in japan. kj said there r thgs that he will teach us when we are in sg but do we really have the time n concentration to do it? so many thgs are happening once we return to sg.

as i was telling mickey last nite, i hv so many thgs in my head..altho i dun want to but i beginning to be more self-conscious n smtimes i think i wld perhaps prefer kj not to have given me so much confidence cos now i have more at stake. but yes, i really want to let go n let god tho i cant deny that its getting to me day by day. i dun want to disappoint myself n my loved ones who have believed in me.

hey twinnie, i found a way to tok over the msn so i can hear yr voice! sigh so many thgs to share w u..hope ur enjoying ur comfort at home!

hw have u been, yoyo?

the love of God will tk me thru..

2008-12-09T21:38:00.002+08:00

i have so many thgs in my mind now aft the review this afternoon. for the first time, i had almost an hour tok with kj n the more he said he is sure of his choice now, the more worried i am, the more careful i am with the thgs i say. he caught hold of my weakness, he asked me how am i gg to cope with mistakes? thats my fatal part. mistakes are intolerable but how am i gg to ctrl myself from breaking down? if i make a huge mistake, what am i gg to do to prevent myself frm breaking down?

im so afraid to say the wrong thgs now..i ctrl myself today, i was so close to asking him but i didnt, i dunno if i made the rite choice..i hope so cos i was reminded to be focused.

i was looking forward to the end but now that its getting nearer, my nerves are also getting tighter..will i be too disappointed when its not me..i think i will..

2008-12-08T20:56:00.002+08:00

that's the love of God

what makes God take so much care to make creation glow?
He could have make it black and white and we would have never known
and what makes God send Jesus to die on calvary?
of cos it was this joyous thing, i feel inside of me

that's the love of God, its neverending
that's the love of God, always forgiving
He's always there, He never fails
all He will do, is love forever
and He loves to share it, that's the love of God

it change a family, it's already changed the world
when Jesus brings it to our hearts, heaven's banner is unfold
and when you start to share it, in its precious....(cant catch the word)
you're glad to see your view of life, will never be the same

~~~~

miss listening to Girlie singing this in church..miss dancing, miss serving in church during wkends,miss the smell of nissi room, miss stepping into church, miss wearing my ballet attire, miss having ballet trgn...miss worshipping God together with the entire ministry on stage.

now i realise hw irritating it gets when a person is simply blatantly blunt. keeps blabbering abt hw her-supposedly great achievements, abt playing netball, for like 4 years? bt being captain and supporting herself thru uni days and hw she only aims for high-flyer guys and how ugly her current bf is, i just asked her today, "mayb ur bf also thinks that u r ugly?" i mean, pls la..i wld think that u yrself would have to be someone with great personality or are also a high-flyer or you are miss universe then u can say such thgs rite?? what mks u think that pple who r high flyers will fall for you? do you reallly have what it takes? your success in life is measured by these thgs? high-salaried n gd looking bf, condo n car? is that what ur life is all abt?

tho i tok abt how i bully my mickey but at least i dun condescend him in front of my friends. i fu think u r so great, why dun u go run for some presidential campaign? maybe u can pit urself against eunice olsen for a start? since u think u have more brains and brawns than anyone else. for a nus grad who says words like "irregardless", "he very loved" instead of "he is very loving", pronounces "subtly" as "sub-tile-ly", "hierarchical" as "hierar-ker"..i wonder hw she pass her degree and studeid sociology and doesnt even knw how to be tactful..

for a 22-yr old, i can only say...immature.

pple oredi asked her to be careful with her words, she can imagine it to be a suggestion to play office politics..dunno whether to laugh or cry at her.

sigh..the flawed part of this entire japan adventure. immaturity. however, thanks to her, im beginning to have more control of my tongue.

2008-12-06T10:43:00.002+08:00

i had a great time enjoying, singing and worshippin the Lord in my tiny apartment but the joy in me is exploding n i feel great, refreshed!

thks Gina for sharing ur gd news w me and remembering me! i hope u will go bk to teach cos i think sch needs trs now n trs like you! anyhow, God will provide.amen.

hey twinnie, hws shanghai? gg bk to sg? im coming back too!!!

2008-12-03T21:49:00.004+08:00

finally manage to get some links back but some are friends' links are lost and gone oredi..sigh..cant find cherlene's.

anyway its wk 5 in japan and one more mth and ill be back! wah..time really flies n i think i can stopped being obasan n going to the supermaket hahah hmmm think still can go la but no nid to stock up that much oredi. i think albert beat me, he wanted to mk scones here and he has oredi bought the ingredients! hahah..jac makg stew smmore..wah...i think we r really cooking up a feast here.

feli's bf brought my creams and rec dearie's secret package..haha i tot wat was inside. so clever ah u..wrapped until so nice. got my eye cream n body milk..hmmmm winter is coming soon so i think these creams will come to gd use! temp sudd dropped this wk..guess its really the prelude to winter.

went to disneyland and disneysea..so fun!! i love disneyland, i feel very "disney" there and the rides at disneysea were really exciting! once is not enuff, i want to the disneyland in other countries!!

tired today..blog another day

2008-11-25T09:49:00.002+08:00

its the beginning of wk 4 in japan and im sort of used to the lifestyle..work, go supermarket, go home then cook. hahaah we are always on the lookout for supermarkets here cos we want to buy the cheapest one here which sells a great variety, in simpler terms, "fresh and green" .

last week i went to ueno and i bought quite a bit of snacks there and the biggest catch was 1000yen for 2 big unagi (eel) which is abt $16 back in sg. i think its super worth it for such big pieces! see, thats my obasan-spirit. im labelled as the obasan queen here by the girls and provision shop aunty by albert, hahah..oh yah and my bag is like doraemon's tummy cos it always has food and almost everythg.

on the way to ueno, we dropped by this fancl house which sells collagen drink so we rushed to buy. i bought this mango banana drink and it reminded me of how much i miss mango!! the person sprinkled collagen powder into our drink as if she was adding pepper. val and i mk sure that we scouped all of the powder into our drink! :) the fancl products are so cheap here, i think ill lug sm back tho i dunno if the tense-up ex really works. flo said there is a 7-storey outlet in ginza. will surely drop by!

my hands are getting very wrinkled cos we always wash our hands with cold water. i can see the skin drying up..sad..i stll thought that my complexion will be fantastic here...wanted to look for tact beautycare here but i dont think they have it here :(

had my third review here and for the first time, i felt discouraged. kj said no one is that outstanding yet among the 5 of us. i really dunno what else to do except to work harder..pls pray for me, for strength and wisdom in my work.

twinnie leaving for shanghai tmr, i think..have a safe journey my dear! must still keep in touch ok! leave everythg behind and just go for a gd hol!

congrats kei! for getting the job..do they pay u well? hw many days do u nid to work? god is faithful..praise the lord.

hmm maybe i shd start writing resumes and sell them!

2008-11-16T13:14:00.004+08:00

after 3 days working at lala garden, i felt very accomplished n very "uniqlo" hahah..i feel that everyone was very willing to help and it felt great each time i complete my task. although i din really understand what they were sayin nbut i felt useful getting them what they want.

a customer said "kawa-i' to me, i think she meant cute..hhehe. of cos, i do feel tired and everyday after work, i come back n either cook rice or do my laundry n i feel quite "aunty" here cos every now n then ill go the supermaket after work to buy food and cook. ahahha. altho im tired but i still feel good, knowing that everyday i learn smthg new. the fact that pple r praying for me back in sg comforts me n of cos, god has been faithful and he strengthens me everyday so that i can go thru the challenges ahead.

cant wait to see the new store in tamp! so exicting and val n i were thinking how we will be after these 2 months of trgn.

7 more wks to go...jia you!

2008-11-13T20:53:00.002+08:00

ok spent 12 days in tokyo oredi and still trying to adjust to the dry air here. lost my voice for 2 days and finally could speak clearly today but yet to recover from my sexy voice!

went to the new store at LaLa garden today which is situated at kawaguji, we took abt 1 hour and 15 mins to travel there. we took a subway and a train and then a local bus. travelling fares are very expensive here, each day can spend abt 20 sing dollars just taking subway aka mrt in SG. jia lak.

today at new store, i saw how perfect the fixtures and clothes were spread across the shop and how fast the sales went. so far, i have witnessed their daily achievements of 130% to 150% which is AMAZING! i feel very proud to be part of this established and high-achieving organisation which really demands high quality of everything they do, from products to staff.

i was a bit accident prone today though, all happened in the stock room. the mountains of boxes landed on me twice, thank God they dint land on my head. i kicked my toes and hit my knees against a container which was super painful, it was so bad that i was limping on the shop floor. then valerie acciddentally whack my head with her elbow..next a colleague also accidentally pushed me off or smthg, i cant rem, too many thgs happening today.

i ate green tea ice cream with red bean during my half an hour break. i shared with florence and it was ok la. finally tasted jap red bean! i think i want to look ard for more jap red bean dessers, shd be able to get nicer ones.

i felt very useful today cos i completed many tasks today and even though its hard work and smtimes i feel like im a storeman cos i need to life so many boxes and do so many manual stuff yet i still look forward to another day at the store..cos i know there will be new thgs to learn and more challenges to overcome. with kenji ard, nothg seems impossible.

i had my first review this wk and it was very positive n encouraging. its very comforting to know that you will be rewarded by yr efforts. thank God for his grace that has carried me thus far.

i miss the food in SG. today was talking abt and for a moment, i wish i was gg home oredi...

2008-11-08T21:34:00.002+08:00

"In the Bible we see that God consistently used people who were far less than perfect. That shouldn’t surprise us. God is glorified by showing Himself strong through our weaknesses. It shows us that He desires to work through our lives not because we are perfect but because He is. And since He uses weak and foolish things (1 Cor. 1:27), it means you and I are prime candidates for His work.
The Lord isn’t looking for superheroes. He uses those of us who are flawed and frail, so that He can show His strength and grace. He wants those with a willing and available heart. — Bill Crowder"--My Daily Bread

Thank God im flawed...so that His Grace can work in me.

2008-11-08T18:04:00.002+08:00

this is my name in japanese

my wardrobe..its unbelievably much much smaller than what i have in SG

where i shower everyday

the legendary multi-functional toilet bowl.

it flushes
it washes your rear
it washes your front
it warms your butt
you control the water flow that washes yr butt n front
see the tap on top? its for you to wash yr hand n at the same time, it fills the cistern..talk abt being environmental friendly, no one beats the jap!

along this narrow aisle, you will see my washing machine on the extreme left corner, then my stove n fridge which is not in the pict, the microwave is sitting on top of the fridge

the white door is the one and only main door, it is coded so i dont hv a padlock.

the brown door on the right corner is the door to the toilet bowl

my bedroom cum living room

2008-11-06T18:58:00.002+08:00

hi peeps...

I have started going to the store yesterday and today. yesterday was a lot of infomation and so I was very tired when i came back. my Jap bosses treated us dinner on Tuesday evening, i went to get some grocery and replenishment last nite so for the past few nites, we have been coming back at 9 plus and by the time we settled down, its abt 12 oredi so i have been quite tired. im afraid that ill overslp so i wont really go into deep slp, ill wake up in the nite and check the time for fear of being late. so far, i have not, thank God and i hope ill remain punctual cos punctuality is very impt here..we literally have to squeeze ourselves into the train every morning. i have never experienced this in SG before! there are actually a few cabins allocated to female commuters...ahahah to protect us! so considerate!

i have learnt a lot these 2 days and i really thank God for this opportunity. there are many new challenges to overcome everyday. these 2 days i learnt how to fold clothes, how to greet customers, how to unpack new stock, how to read codes, names of the displays on the shop floor, today i learnt how to vacuum!! hahha,, my back starts to ache whenever i stand or walk for too long, today after vacuuming, my back was achin too. pls help me pray for strong bones and divine health! and also, help me pray that i will have the strength to go thru each day and glorify the Lord in whatever I do, say and think!

oh yah, my store was playing a christian song on Tuesday hahaha..i told my another christian friend that God wants to remind us that He is always with us and we were both very encouraged then

ok everyone have a great time this weekend as we all experience His wondrous love..

2008-11-04T21:48:00.002+08:00

cheezzzz to soba!

thanks for praying for me, i have settled in japan safely and comfortably. my room is very self-sufficient. i have a toilet and a bathroom, a small stove, washing machine, oven and fridge. i can warm the toilet bowl!! as such, my butt is kept warm!! hahahah..

the weather is pretty cool, in fact its rather cold, when i landed, it was only 9 degrees and i think it has remained as that so far. every morning and evening is rather cool especially when the wind blows, its really cold, i guess cherlene will like it cos it like walking in a air-conditioned room all the time!

i took abt 3 hours to travel from narita airport to where i stay. i stay near bakuroyokoyama and ill be working in shinjuku-sanchome store. that day we touched down, we lug all our luggages around the train station and i had muscle aches after that. my luggage was the heaviest! i have 2 bags and they weighed abt 38kg thats like the weight of a person..maybe jean?

anyway i get along well with my colleagues and everyone is willing to help and all. i hope we will stay this way for the next 2 months!

i saw the dance list for the next 2 weeks, how i wish i can dance too! there was one morning i listened to "all the earth" and i was dancing the chorus in my small room!! hahah..i miss dancing and i miss u babes! last nite i cried before i slpt cos i suddenly felt very lonely here..but i know im here to widen my horizon and im ready for the challenges so i just braced myself. pls continue to pray for me as i go thru the cold autumn here and for courage to move on!

im starting work in the store tmr and i think ill be learning the basics, im excited and trying to forget the fear in me. i know i will get thru it! jia you!

thanks for sending me off everyone, thks for coming and wishing me well!

thks lai lai, dawn, jeff and regi.

thks kei, caleb, yoyo and uncle.

thks mummy, papa, carol

of cos my mickey

and also my best friend lin and my counsel, melina for meeting up with me before i leave.

thanks yan, for wanting to come send me off.

i love u guys!

2008-10-23T07:56:00.002+08:00

went to buy a pillow and bedsheets yesterday then a sudden realisation that im going somewhere far surged yet again. so much so that i need to get extra pillow and bedsheets!

feeling a bit lost these days, dont know what to do when im not wang laoshi anymore. dont know how to clear my table, how to pack my clothes, how to pack my luggage, dont know how to feel right now. its this period that i feel quite vacuumed now...esp so when i went shopping without mickey yesterday, i suddenly feel very lonely. imagine next time it wont be just a call away...maybe i shd just thk god that its only 2 months! not 2 years!

thks to joy's and yihui's mums that i feel that i have somehow made some difference to their child's lives. i feel encouraged that they want me to tutor their kids. its a kind of affirmation.

got a letter from twinnie this morning which warms my heart in this cold morning and i really thank god for such a twinnie as i wouldnt have survived without her support and encouragement, the meals she supplies me with, the love she gives me. whatever she has done for me is so much more than i have given. thks twinnie, altho im a bit sad that you wont be coming but its ok..maybe i wont cry so much then! thks for all you have done for me and i love you!

2008-10-18T11:41:00.002+08:00

2 more weeks and ill be flown to japan. im both excited and worried abt eveything, the packing, the adapting part, the training..can i really make it through?

im beginning to think abt the delicacies ill miss here, the chicken rice, the laksa, the nasi padang, the steamboat and what nots...2 months confinement!! haven even started the packing yet which is absolutely jialart..dunno why, a part of me just doesnt want to start..its scary how much things u need. well i guess all these will be fruitful experience for me.

heard from ceiling abt something i never though ill heard abt myself, was very upset when i heard that but not as bad as before. i told twinnie abt it and she was rite, she said we are not guilty of anything and yah its gone, she is gone and thats great. prob the lousiest part of my life was that and its gone!! yay!!

ok need to be more mentally prepared and move my hands!

2008-10-13T09:50:00.002+08:00

time has a special ability to just fly past without you noticing it..

i have abt 2 more weeks in sch and 3 more weeks in sg before i fly off...yet to start clearing hence cant start packing yet. need to buy thgs and pack stuff that need to be shifted to new hse and to japan..aiyoh so many thgs to do. i can foresee that i will not pack my own stuff to be shifted over to new hse...hope it doesnt come true.

hmmm..starting to wonder abt too many "what ifs" but my senses make me realise that i shd nt leave in the past or the maybes..should just more forward, knowing that i have done a good job and left a positive influence behind!

i love being wang laoshi and will always be..

2008-10-03T22:11:00.000+08:00

love this picture..makes me feel free...

2008-10-03T20:21:00.003+08:00

p erupted the news to the mt depart today which i didnt expect and she actually wanted me to share what i am going to do and i was like....ok....hmm...i am going to japan and yah...joining a japanese retail company.

the in-conversation was fruitful for some of us but hear and eye opener for me. i just cant understand how pple can teach for so many years can utter such ridiculous stuff. no lsp? does he knows what is he talkin abt? lsp is not beneficial? u can only see the few students we have but do u understand the hard work we put in? how can u scrap lsp? how can u pretend that there arent no weak students at all? i look at how u teach ah, i cant imagine if u take my lsp class, i think they will get demoted to em3. not being judgemental here but i just think u need to use yr brains before you make such big statements.

ok neh drafted a timeline for me and i realised how little time i have..the packing alone shd be enuff to wipe me out. oh well..if god has ironed out eveything for me up to here, i think there shdnt be any prob. i just need to stay focused and do what i need to do. rem, my priority is the students, must not let them down.

i guess ill miss teaching, though my lsp burst my blood vessels but i can see that they are trying very hard, well at least for some of them and i love them a lot. i wish that whoever is teaching them next year will love them just as much or love them more and do the things that i wasnt able to do with them this year.

会有人舍不得我吗？其实自己也没为别人做些什么...i told neh that he is prob the only one cos only he feels that im impt to him. 有时候，不觉感到自己在别人的生命里是可有可无的，很痛心吧，但是能怎样呢？learn to let go...

went for dinner with twinnie, it seems such a long time that we had twinnie time and we had "big"meal hahahah and i love the chicken!! so nice..for once, twinnie ate fresh crunchy lettuce..woohooo..

must treasure the time i have with my loved ones..

2008-09-24T21:40:00.002+08:00

god is great to me..

settled sch
settled GE
settled SIM
settled my RO

all easier than i expected..up next

need to clear marking
start to buy thgs that i need
start tp pack which i don even know where to start!!!!! *panick panick*
need to settle phone
need to settle magazines delivery

need to pray for strengh

i know God will continue to lead me as i trust in him, like i said, if its from God, he will bring me thru swiftly.

i will miss everyone..

my dear twinnie, i will miss you a lot but dont be afraid, god will always be with you. you are not alone and you will not be, you r always in my heart wherever i go. you are destined to be my twinnie hahhahah..who knows..maybe years later, ill be ur shps twinnie again!! maybe we hv more time to hang out more often!! haahah..勇敢地走下去，我爱你哦！

need to make full use of time now!

因为有你，人生也有了憧憬
因为有主，我的生命充满了希望

2008-09-19T15:40:00.004+08:00

oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!! its so unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!! thank god..for his blessings!!! im getting a grad's pay tho im not one!!!

i feel shocked, overwhelmed and surprised and confused and excited and exhilarating and i donno what else...its rojak inside me now...i am so loss for words now...is this what God really wants me to do? i prayed before and after the interview and before i returned the missed calls and i told god, if im not called for this then ill be where i am now and ill be contented teaching...and oh my god........look at what i will received!!!!! but i will really miss dancing..ok i will really need more strength to overcome whatever that will come in the next few months...ahhh i hope everything will go on smoothly from here.

thks twinnie for supporting me..becos i love u so much, your support means lot to me.
thks daniel for listening to me and giving me advices.

of cos to my mickey, who has been with me and pitching for me all the way, i love you!! thank you for beliving in me. you reallly lift me up!

2008-09-15T17:22:00.003+08:00

it was a great weekend, the sermon on saturday was encouraging and i felt very motivated after that. pastor spoke abt divine love and tho its not new and we all know abt it but it spoke its way into my heart on saturday evening. everything in this universe was created out of love and this is becos our heavenly father loves us so much that he created everythg so lovely for us. if a relationship is not bound by God's love, it is unsustainable. God's love will let us look at another person with another perspective.

if God loves me so much that he gave me so many beautiful thgs, i wonder why is it sometimes i hate myself so much? i have wasted too much time feeling down and out. though im tired cos of work and all but im still loved.

i asked my class yest if they know that i love them, i expected them to say no but they shouted "yes we know..cos u teach us mah." i felt so touched and my efforts really are not wasted. i hope they will do even better next year under another teacher. i brought mooncake for them to eat..i think they love it cos they came back for 2nd round...hahaha

i love the pple around me.

did well for first tma though it was rushed work but god is good...always rewarding me more than what i deserved. tmr is the interview, am excited and scared at the same time...hahah.

life is too short to worry abt what others may think of me if i leave my current job..moreover they are pple whom i dont care at all..i want to pursue my dreams not pursue theirs so am not gg to be bothered if i really need to leave in nov.

life without riches is poor, life without dreams is empty.

2008-09-07T17:23:00.002+08:00

ahh..took a 3 hrs nap but still very slpy..whats up man...always get to sleep in in the morning but today is the last day of sleeping in!!! why am i always so slpy?

still feeling sian...think the sense of no-fulfilment is still creeping in..must eradicate it!!! i wish i can B*** my marking..hahaha..i want to be a happy teacher!!! not a burdened one!!!

feel useless not being to achieve anythg..but thats not what mickey said, mickey said its gd that im resting so that i can do smthg tmr..thk god for mickey..else dont know what to do..

wanted to go out but end up staying at home cos of the rain and was too tired to get out of the house..mayb next week or maybe ill feel better next week then i wont resort to going out to feel better..

twinnie, you must jia you too ok..

2008-09-01T20:20:00.002+08:00

the weekend was a torture..

rushed thru first tma

cried buckets of tears

the furthest i went was food court at interchange

had lousy complexion

but it all ended this morning when i woke up feeling good. altho i still have another tma to rush now, piles of books to mark blah blah blah...i did well today. the day was well spent. had sumptous lunch with beloved, as usual i ordered more than what we could eat. then went home to complete my resume. yes!! depsite having zero experience, i managed to write a page of A* bullshit and bravely sent it out. well even beloved said it was good so..its GOOD bullshit!

yes i hope i clinch the job but i know i wont. at this point of time, my ultimatum is, i let God lead. if God wants me to stay in teaching, then ill just stay where i am until something beta comes along. im tired of feeling incompetent so i want to choose to believe that God knows my talents and i will be used mightily wherever i go. so if im gg to stay in teaching, i better be a darn good teacher! anyway peeps, i got into GE. not general election tho.

went to party on fri with a totally new set of party goers or rather...party poopers!!! just as i was abt to hit the dance floor, they all scrambled home, twinnie and i were like "what sia?" so all the cinderellas went home leaving behind me, twinnie and beloved, the real party goers who eventually gave in to the time and went home 30 mins after the princesses left. sian.

BUT

it was fun when we got there. we saw twinnie's "crazy cousin" quoted twinnie who shouted "happy teachers day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" gleefully. i was looking for a hole at that point of time. decided to hide behind the person next to me who could not even cover my face..who was that huh?? anyway it was fun playing "ji gu ba" and 5-10 with the gang..hahahah.

the party ended before it started. kuku..

2008-08-28T21:00:00.003+08:00

i completed my exam marking, keyed in my results, did my lesson obv but still feeling down. been soaked with feelings of incompetence, inadequateness and feeling unaccomplished. just feeling like breaking down these days..sigh ..weak

haven completed my resume yet..but why else can i write? aiyah does being a level rep for 3 years mean anythg to anyone outside? just organising camp mean anythg? i do want to get the job..cos it gives me a chance to develop myself and make me see things that i haven seen myself doing yet. i like this kind of fresh feeling. unlike now, i feel stale. something is just wrong.

read my students' compo and i feel very honoured to be the chinese teacher whom they adore. i feel very appreciated esp when they wrote so many things abt me which i didnt realised at all. i guess thats the satisfaction of being a teacher. tmr's is teacher's day, i received a gift from a student whom i no longer teach, i feel great! i feel comforted that they do remember you even if you dont teach them anymore, it signifies the impact you made on their lives.

all to teachers..HaPPie TeAChEr's Day!

2008-08-23T11:56:00.002+08:00

sometimes i wonder if im being too lazy...being too lenient on myself..i supp i can be more efficient and work harder, i thnk i can push myself harder but just want to give myself excuses to rest, to slack, its as if someone or something is responsible for my lethargy and im just taking revenge by wasting time..

but i ask myself, "why do i need to push myself so hard? i deserve some break rite?" hence, i just go on my rest-pilgrimage, thinking that by resting more, ill work harder yet only the reverse is true, i just continue to rest, rest, rest until i so sian of rest, i become lethargic...there is never a finishing line to rest or a starting line to "ok lets move on"

the truth is, while i resent my current attitude, i haven found a perfect time to make any changes yet..ah man..

miss feeling and being princessy..

2008-08-23T11:47:00.002+08:00

ok im stuck between completing my own work and sch's work.

plan lesson obv
complete my tmas
key in results
read up TAM

ahhh..what to do? tsk need to move on man , move on!!!

last night's tutorial was fun! my classmates are mostly teachers and we had fun discussing tho at one pt of time, this person was like summarising everythg that is not impt wrt to the tma at all..but we were polite enough to just listen to her hahha..

got extension for "chigh there-velopment" tma..now waiting for approval for psycholinguistics..

i wonder how i manage my first 2 years of unisim, i did almost everythg last min work yet still manage to do not so badly for it..ahahha i think i got high class bullshit like what praise said to me..hahaha..not bad at least its A grade bullshit..

i miss dancing..miss the smell of nissi room, miss wearing full ballet attire..when will my ankle be healed???

2008-08-19T18:46:00.003+08:00

sigh..i feel extremely upset that by voicing out my marking load, it created such coldness. am i wrong in asking? why am i always given more to mark? what if i cant complete my marking? his 2 classes = 1 class of mine leh..this kind of distribution fair meh? aiyoh...i din not expect to increase anyone's workload but just want thgs to be done more fairly..why take it so adversly? anyway, as long as my work load is not any lesser, i dont think im in the wrong altho now it seems so. sian. so everyone shd just be quiet and accept whatever they are given? and that will define a good worker? sorry not my type. sigh...msg also dont want to reply..why this kind of attitude?

no mood to do my tmas..no mood to think of my lesson obv, no mood to buy ling's present. wasted time and energy feeling upset and all. luckily, mickey turned my day around and made me feel better :) thks dear!

fed mouse and watched them slp, run and eat...so cute my mouse!

bought tickets for mum to watch money not enough 2 which was a very touching show, teared a few times during the show and felt very related to the show. prob didnt see this side of the society before so the show was an eye opener for me, it just shocked me how much we cld disappoint our family members at times.

got champ for netball over the wkend at the sports day! *clap clap* eleanor and janet ng really played well and i tot we shd come toget more often to train, in the name of fitness!!

twinnie, you shd try netball again, doesnt matter the competitiveness, do it for gd health!

not gg to hokkaido anymore, have switched luxury for more rational spending and anyway, its bangkok! so no prob for me at all! smtimes need to use the brain rather than the heart!

anyway i dont agree that we dont have democracy in sg, we still have our rights to choose the more impt thgs,like our religion, our languages that we take, the values we learn in sch, above all, we still have a choice to vote for our government. i believe these thgs are more impt. and like what pastor said, "true freedom comes with boundaries". can you imagine if we dont have watch our speech, our mannerism, what kind of social probs will we face? if we dont fine pple who litter, spit, vandalise, what kind of filth will we be living in? i believe freedom in sg comes with the law and order, thats why we can live freely and safely here. cheers to sg! to me, its akin to how God treat us, we are free from bondages but we are still bound by commandments but God does that so that we are still able to watch ourselves and love others. so cheers to God too!

aiyah dont know why la...just feel very down..

2008-08-13T20:51:00.002+08:00

been feeling very tired these days...in fact only since yesterday and today and hopefully this fatigue will end soon...altho i dont know why but i dont want to feel so lethargic anymore!!!!! ahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after attending the briefing, i dont know if i really want to try it..suddenly feel incompetent, no self-confidence, dont feel like taking up the challenge..hmmm what happened? am i really losing myself to the environment? have i been pushing myself too much?

i think i really need a gd break...a long long break..

2008-08-11T17:52:00.001+08:00

and this is my beautifully married couple..

2008-08-11T17:39:00.003+08:00

it was my first good friday =) dancing for the Lord

thats rebecca, me, charisa, jean and cherlene..dunno where joanne went?

this is the thai ronald mcdonald..*hands clasped*

thats twinnie holding onto him...i rem i forced her to tk this pict..hahaha

pandan cake for u? hahah it was kei's wedding day..we were busy preparing thgs to "tekan" them

here comes my reward! $$$$

2008-08-11T15:53:00.004+08:00

my nation which i proudly live in..

went dinner with kei, caleb and twinnie, altho it was only 4 of us but we had a great time! wanted to go the new v tea room which is called cookie museum now but it was full house so we went to park ourselves at tcc. talked quite a lot there and then got to talk church and all..makes me look back and think how far our church have gone. god is great.

the tot of work irks me but what else can i do rite? the lesson obv doesnt help either, it just adds on to my load and i feel extra sian if i realise it doesnt suit me or i cannot mk it.

went to east coast just now and had a relaxing time strolling along the beach and really love the air there. its so refreshing!

its really a gd break for me this wkend..

need to perk up more..i dont want to always feel sian and negative abt everythg..i dont to be a negative influence, i want to inspire pple..i want the pple ard me to feel happy when im ard, i want to feel gd abt myself..so socks up, let's go!

2008-08-06T14:46:00.002+08:00

哭了一场，感觉好多了......希望下来会更开心

altho its not my turn to take dance, i still stayed until 245pm and still haven taken lunch yet..sigh..

2008-08-05T16:55:00.003+08:00

slept for 5 hours in the afternoon and completed the day knocking out at 1030pm yesterday..this was what massive blood loss did to me. though im still alive but my body feels dead cos i feel very lethargic whole day and have no energy to do anythg at all..

dint feel good in school today so decided to come back home and google for LV neverfull..its another bag im targetting. maybe shd get down to the store to check it out.

candy bouquet dint fail me today and i think its really nice to receive such a bouquet of candies instead of the usual flowers. max provided excellent customer service... check out www.candybouquet.com.sg for gift ideas!!

i need sugar!!

2008-07-28T21:09:00.002+08:00

been too long and too busy to blog and in fact, do anything else other than spending time in school. ironically, i still haven cleared my mountain but cleared more of the recent work. sigh..it just took me one a few evenings out to be overloaded with markings...

took one day off today to relax and end up doing housework hhah..not bad at least i chged my bedsheets, cleared my laundry and nice aunty came to iron my clothes altho it was not free!! anyhow, as long as the laundry basket is cleared, im not that stressed anymore.

mummy has been passing sour mangoes for me to eat..i hate it!!! i want sweet and riped ones!!

ok with regards to twinnie's msg; what do i do to keep myself happy?

eat ice cream with mickey
have steamboat sessions
have BBQ sessions
going ntuc with twinnie
cooking with mickey
going for spas
shopping
dancing
playing netball
go for buffet
go to the beach with mickey to cycle
talk talk to twinnie
thinking abt my japan trip
reading the notes that twinnie wrote me
buying christmas pressies
watch xiao ding dang
watch funny shows
watch SATC but sadly everythg has been removed from youtube!!
feed my mouse
sleep

hahah twinnie, i have a longer list than you!! hahah

2008-07-21T20:17:00.002+08:00

as much as i regret saying it, im truly tired and disappointed with my marking progress. i really could not mark at all after going for so many dance sessions which ended late and busy with other thgs other than marking..sigh..today i woke up hating myself for being such a disappointment.

i had a great wkend tho..had bbq and buffet on both days. for once, i did not need to prepare anythg for bbq and just concentrate on eating..yummy!!!

ok onward and forward..

i almost went crazy if not for twinnie who came to tok to me...thks dearie

2008-07-14T20:56:00.000+08:00

I can read your mind and I know your story
I see what youre going through
Its an uphill climb, and Im feeling sorry
But I know it will come to you

Dont surrender cause you can win
In this thing called love

When you want it the most theres no easy way out
When youre ready to go and your hearts left in doubt
Dont give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And thats the way it is

When you question me for a simple answer
I dont know what to say, no
But its plain to see, if you stick together
Youre gonna find a way, yeah

So dont surrender cause you can win
In this thing called love

When you want it the most theres no easy way out
When youre ready to go and your hearts left in doubt
Dont give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And thats the way it is

When life is empty with no tomorrow
And loneliness starts to call
Baby, dont worry, forget your sorrow
cause loves gonna conquer it all, all

When you want it the most theres no easy way out
When youre ready to go and your hearts left in doubt
Dont give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And thats the way it is

2008-07-14T20:36:00.002+08:00

i don my complete ballet attire, consisting of ballet tights, shorts, wrapped skirt and leotard for ballet trgn last wk. tho i feel like a bah zang but i totally enjoyed the "ballerina" feeling. i feel extremely pro and i felt better dancing. i cld stretched more easily and somehow, trgn was just more interesting..hahaha..

just came back from dance performance with the girls and reached school at 530pm, tmr will only be back at 1030pm. i wonder why werent the other trs activated since they are in the pm and can at least wake up later. we are oredi up since 6 am and stl need to stay until 1030pm then wake up at 6am again the next morning, i mean, its really more than 15 hrs spent doing sch stuff leh. the same qn in my head, why isnt the workload distributed equally?

"handling over" is a lousy excuse to use and now, since we know its not me then why isnt the next chief doing the bulk of it? is it true that the next chief will mk me do just as much too?

ok this is the time when im being too petty and calculative. im actually given strength to overcome whatever i needed to do today so thank God.

was pleasantly surprised by twinnie who gave me an amazing gift and a letter written very beautifully. thks twinnie, i love the file and the notebook. i love receiving letters!! hahah..

still wanna end off the day knowing that im very blessed and happiness is really a choice and so my choice of mood today is, Im Happy mode.

2008-07-14T09:30:00.002+08:00

i realised that im naturally happy when i attend ballet trgn and netball trgn, so since im always doing the thgs that i love to do and being around pple whom i love, i am perplexed by how grouchy i can get sometimes, i mean i am so fortunate rite???

and so, i MUST BE HAPPY and actually be contented with what i have and going to have. i love being me, really...i have so many thgs i wanna do and i have a great church, ministry and cell grp which takes care of my spiritual life and the many darlings i have to take care of me physically and emotionally. life is great rite?

i feel very blessed upon receiving the tuition assignt tho im not sure if i can handle it but ill try. I thank God for giving me a chance to work and the opport to earn more $.

ahh..i love me!!

2008-07-05T11:09:00.002+08:00

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support

She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and with every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like

I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear
Of those things

And when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it.

2008-07-05T09:34:00.004+08:00

"God places us in unique circumstances where our abilities match the problem He wants to fix. Jesus said that what we do for those in need, we do for Him (Matt. 25:35-40).
Have you found a problem? How might you be God's solution? God may want you to be an answer to someone's prayer. "

read this for today's devotion and got this urge to post it..perhaps someone needs it other than me.

last night i was thinking about this, is it easier to make changes in where i am now than move on to an unfamiliar territory and try to adjust thgs? i seem to have no answer to that. since discussion has been postponed to tues, i guess i still have time to ponder abt my decision.

i just cant tolerate the environment, its full of favouritism, prejudice and discouragement. how to groom pple like that? how to explore new ideas like that? why only take the opinion of one person? why only trust the few whom you favour?

ok enough of senseless issues to think abt, its not worth my attention now. shall just focus on my future now.

the past 2 wks have been very fruitful, i have been managing time rather well *applause* yeah! leaving school between 3-5pm almost everyday and found time to rest and spend time with pple whom i love, had dinner and lunches with twinnie and kei, went to catch movie with avalanche kakis and of cos spent time with neh too.

had fishhead steamboat with twinnie for the 2nd time and i really appreciate her coming out with us as she puts aside her own discomfort, though i hope not much. thks twinnie, for going dinner with us. we love you!! i love you!! i really appreciate your presence.

been eating regularly, again thks to twinnie and kei for buying me packed lunches and snacks so that i wont starve just during afternoon classes.

lsp has been improving at a steady rate and i am really proud of them. esp benedict, i can see confidence in him and he is unleashing his potential in learning now. good for him! *quote joshua

one thg i need to do is really to clear the marking i still have and concentrate on my teaching in class as this remaining 6 mths is really crucial to the kids.

am i really called for teaching? been 3 years and i still wonder.

the road to finding yourself is always not easy,
some find it in their loved ones,
some find it in their work,
some people find it in their dreams,
some found it their eulogy,
some reckon with the characters in a novel,
some reconcile themselves in God,
take heart, you will never lose something that is always embedded in you.

Courage is fear that has said its prayers. ~Dorothy Bernard

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar. ~Raymond Lindquist

lets move forward...

2008-07-03T17:29:00.002+08:00

ok here's the list for sunday..

venue : kei's place

pple involved : driver, housekeeper and husband ( late arrival ), twinnies, yoyo ( late arrival ) and meow meow ( kei to invite )

time : 4pm onwards until...

cost : less than $50 each ( got ho liao so boh bian )

events : shoppers ( twinnie and twinnie ) will meet at ntuc at 4pm
housekeeper ( kei ) will be at home to prepare the physical set up.
driver ( there is only one driver ) so you will pick up shoppers at 445pm or 5pm.

duty : house keeper

set up table and and chairs
rinse all utensils and cutlery
prepare plastic boxes ( put raw food )
prepare ice

shoppers

shop for food

driver

pick up shoppers and stuff

food list

balls ( sotong and fish )
veg ( green and white )
flower crab (someone to buy frm market, neh's maid? )
prawns ( someone to buy frm market, neh's maid? )
tang hoon
egg ( kei to provide, you have? )
bean curd
udon
pork liver
baby clams
mushroom ( buttons and golden )
crab meat
chick fillet
pork fillet
fish
dumpling
pokka green tea
ice lemon tea
chilli
marinating sauce

things needed

mahjong set ( twinnie or kei )
cutlery ( kei )
utensils ( kei )
pepper, oyster sauce and soya sauce ( kei )
satay sticks ( twinnie )
newspapers ( kei )
plastic containers ( anybody )
empty stomach ( everybody )
spirit of fun ( everybody )
money to pay up ( everybody )

ok thats it for now...the above is still under construction, pending violent objections. rem your roles man!!!

2008-06-25T18:51:00.002+08:00

i can say that the offer came at the right moment..just as i was thking of gg on NPL next year, she said that when she prayed for the dept, my name came up to her and i wonder if god has used someone else to speak to me instead. coincidentally no 1 also offered me the same position.

sonewhere deep down in my heart, i know there is some kind of excitement which im trying to suppress, for what reason, i dunno. so far, after speaking to a few close friends, all of them showed support and i really appreciate them a lot..thks friends, your support really mean a lot to me esp twinnie. haven really seen kei around much, hoping to catch her and tell her this.

really need to confess my excitement that im sort of looking forward to taking a big step into my development and i know there will be a lot to learn and my fear is whether i will be able to handle it, joc is right, if it is God's will, his grace is sufficient for me.

i prayed for His confirmation to come..prob it came oredi.

as i watched her saying grace for her food, i was more filled with unbelief and disgust than joy...i know its wrong but i just dont feel positive abt it at all, its like she doesnt deserve it..of cos, God's love extends to all those who dont deserve it..like me..ok let god be god. shall not judge abt it.

met ivy and faith and got my new coach wristlet!! awww..so lovely and it was great to meet up with the girls. just love all the chatting and updating and feeling good abt being part of each others' lives.

ok back to work for now!!

2008-06-17T14:57:00.002+08:00

extremely sian sian sian...marking in school now altho i rather go home and read my book..arghh...plans plans plans!!! what to do? where to go? going crazy just thking abt my future and of all pple, i have to see her right in her face after lunch..totally spoils my day and hate her fake friendly voice.

had a great trip with twinnie and am really considering startin my own "shop" haha..filled up my suitcase and bought so many mister donuts back! miss the tom yum and the cheap living there..everythg in sg is so expensive!

hmm aiming for the agnes b tote bag..see how next month :)

just a random entry..buzzing off to mark !

2008-06-11T13:34:00.004+08:00

the wedding last weekend was fun-filled and went on so smoothly despite the slight pouring but it didnt dampened our spirits at all. everything was so well planned and it was really the day the bride and groom could just get married and not worry abt anythg else. that didnt happen without the help of a very enthusiastic entourage and a bunch of helpful friends. caleb's brothers were really brothers..helping and clearing all the obstacles in every way and even neh was helping without being asked. no one could resist twinnie's sweet voice and we all know desmond and her did a great job!

i had fun that night and felt very honoured to part of such a blissful wedding..i know the marriage will be even greater than this. :)

ben thking abt career directions...what do i really want to do? do i want live up to others' expectations or do what i want to do? if im unhappy then what is the reason? i just checked my mail and i know just the sight of her name irks me. does she really think that she is the boss or what? telling pple that "oh this is just smthg i do to pass time and earn extra cash, i can do without this job cos i have a really rich husband" then why stay here and grab everythg? as usual, cos she is the supposedly supervising the com and i am one of the level reps and she can selectively chooses her members to pass info and just conveniently leave me out. just what does she have to be nominated to be the hod? its like a total joke to me.

i know its not worth it to leave cos of someone who doesnt deserve my attention at all but simply cant stand the so full of herself look.

suppose to go back to mark but just too lazy to do that..getting very used to 9 hours of slp and taking afternoon naps and just read leisurely and do my thgs at my own pace. a lot of stuff waiting to be done but just dont feel lk doing them at all..is that a sign?

shd the sch's needs be of my concern?

i blame it on the weather for my restful attitude..its been cooling and i just want to spend the time at home, packing my own things and reading my book. currently reading "tiger's child" by torey hayden, also author of "one child" which opened my eyes to a world where there are suffering children and its the same world we all live in. maybe its this book that draws my attention to children and therefore brought me to where i am now. in a class of forty, there are so many different personalities and so many needs yet the society im in, advocates that i propel these children at the same speed and to a common destination-to complete the syllabus.

while i am proud of where i live, where democracy stands and where every child should be given an opportunity to learn in school, my heart goes out to those who have fallen short of the class standards cos of complicated family backgrounds and learning difficulties. more often than not, they are just given more attention, in hope that they will somehow spell better, complete their homework and improve in their grades. hw does putting everyone with the same or worse, different learning difficulties learn at the same speed and understanding?

sometimes i cant help but give the credit to the tutor at home, cos i know the amt of time and attention i give to my kids are simply not good enough.

maybe i wanna leave knowing that i cant really make a difference in their lives..perhaps i shd make one in mine.

yes i want the recognition and reward but yah, kei is right, i need to look beyond that and do i relly want to part of the rat race as quoted by neh.

look out for open doors..

love this phrase in the book im reading,

"his otherness she understood perfectly"

off to bangkok with twinnie!!

2008-06-03T23:11:00.002+08:00

i bought my first monogram vernis and i love it!! its unique and classy..to me that is..ahaha i cant believe it i just bought it just like that! i have to attribute it to love at first sight! its so pretty that i cant bear to use it.

after stepping into LV, i tell myself, there is nowhere else i cant step into anymore...ahah it was quite crowded and i thought it was some occasion! wah..people are really very financially empowered now.

the next bag will prob tk one more year..and its 4-figure. well..its not that i am materialistic but its just smthg that i really adore and i am not just a label-carrier, i just buy the thgs that i like!

quote coco chanel, a lady should be two things, classy and fabulous.

2008-06-01T20:25:00.002+08:00

feels extremely great to be back in sg, in the arms of someone you love and surrounded by the pple you love and love you too..

the sg air fills my lungs with freshness and it reminded me of the deep breaths i took at lower pierce..ahhh..dont need to wake up with filthy nose which was clogged with polluted air.

docked myself on my bed for 8 hours straight after i touched down and woke up to have dinner at 5pm then tried to adjust to life but was down with headache soon after, guess it was the crowd and jet lag.

went home to unpack and then rested after watching tv..ahh..what a perfect resting place.

woke up to a new morning but had patches of dry skin appearing on parts of my body, extremely upset cos its itchy and patchy and i wonder if it will spread.

had sushi for lunch and headed to kallang for netball but it rained so heavily that the game was postponed, saw miss irene there and she looked great!

went back home and slpt then proceeded to watch SATC with nn. it was like watching 10 episodes at one go. i wonder if the audience knew the background story, the stuggle between big and carrie, the challenge that charlotte is facing with her infertility, the "love-me" more samantha and the marriage between steve and miranda.

oh i love miranda!! she is always so sceptical but always love her friends so much and i love charlotte too. besides having the same name as my future daughter, she is so kind hearted and so sweeeeeeeeeet.

anyway, i was saying, yah do the pple know whats gg on in the movie? the guy beside me was almost dead until he stood up and left after the show, he was totally immobilised.

went for mac breakfast and splurged at vivo aka fav shopping place for now. bought dress, tops, accessories and ate at bakerzin all myself but it was a great meal, i had tomato puree soup, seafood pasta completed with choco souffle!

it was a well rested wkend...

here's whats next..

clean my fan
clean mice's cages
prepare for kei's wedding
go to sis place to teach
go for kei's wedding rehearsal on thurs
collect bridesmaid's gown on fri
go for grooming on fri
decide if i wanna book in at hollywood's secret for sunday's wedding dinner
squeeze time for facial
slp more..

ok this is only for the coming week.

feel so bad that i cant dance for the whole of june..cos so many weddings to help out! :( hope charisa unstds.

2008-05-22T09:55:00.002+08:00

sigh...will they make an exception for me?
dont know what to feel when i received the email from them, i dont want to have confusion and feel so lost anymore...why is it do difficult to stay or leave? i think its harder to leave..

june hols will be quite packed for now, leaving for china until 30th may, going to sis place for 5 days, going to bangkok for 4 days and then its back to school. meanwhile need to squeeze time to mark, hopefully can prepare for some work, help to get excited for kei's wedding, need to attend 3 weddings in total. want to steal some time to go the beach and picnic, go cycling, go swimming, go gym, go eat gd food..spend more time with barbi, clean my hamsters and clear my room.

woohoo...not forgetting to arrange to meet the girls since ivy is back and meet susan and write to yati and meet dawn and all..wah...is there ever time for myself?

want to rest hard and do some reflections for the thgs that had happened and the feelings i am going thru..hopefully it will bring some pointers for the next half of the year..

till then...

fly off to the big C!!

2008-05-18T20:15:00.005+08:00

after watching what i watched for the past few days, i begin to look out for the other 3 good friends who are there always for me, listen to me and always be happy for me whenever im happy. i also learn that friends are those who makes cynical comments abt what you do, what you think but they still love you and whatever happens, they still want the best for you and they will always wait for you to come back to fill the empty seat beside them. they will always be one call away..even though they are living in different countries. friends make difficult times easier to go through and they dont judge you by what you do and they cry when you cry, they laugh when you laugh, they kiss and they hug you, they let you talk abt yr fears, yr joy, yr worries, yr irritating boss, yr bitchy colleagues, yr naggy mum, yr whatever even tho they are not in the best of moods to listen. awwww...such friends are hard to come by..must keep them and thank god for them when you find them!!

when you are in any relationship, its just no longer abt you anymore. its abt them whom you love, its time to give up a part of you, even if that is very precious to you, you still have to give it up..and for me, its my ego.

time to say bye bye..ego..

when someone loves you, they do the thgs for you even tho they dont like it.

i wish i cld have more get-togethers with my gfs..

and now...its beijing until 30th may..till i see my beloved again..sob sob

2008-05-18T20:15:00.001+08:00

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		8
Physical Touch:		7
Words of Affirmation:		7
Acts of Service:		4
Receiving Gifts:		4

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

2008-05-12T18:06:00.006+08:00

ok here are some updates of casey and jojo~~~

casey all curled up and slping..awwwww..cute isnt it?

casey lying on his slide, eating..

ok no updates of jojo..

~~~~~

"what does education mean to you? for me, education is a very powerful tool, it will bring pple out of poverty. you must have a philosophy in life then it will anchor your steps in whatever you are doing."

wah..after a talk with my sup, i felt very motivated and really wanted to spend some time thking abt what does my job mean to me. i really enjoy teaching but i dont want to be a teacher just cos nie says i am a qualified teacher..the thg now is, i dont even know if im gd at teaching. sup is rite, tecahing is more than just teaching them how to read and write, its the impact you have on them.

no wonder whenever i see naughty daniel's card, i feel like going on knowing that he is one life i have touched even tho i was an immature teacher.

sup said she is building my portfolio and she knew that i have exceeded my current grade long time ago..i feel really gd after listening to such affirmation rather than hearing silly comments like "cos others need to move up..so you are down." what kind of stupid excuse is that? sigh..time is just wasted in the hands of someone who doesnt appreciate your deeds, only like to act on favourtism. wasted my 3 years..

at least now i know i have been consistently high *..well not bad for morale boosting..but i still wonder hw long do i still need to wait? wait until all the grads have been promoted? wait until all the post grads who just go on maternity leave to get promoted? sigh...why cant they understd that when they spend more time studying in uni doesnt equate to their working abilities? its just a pack of bull dabian tat is stuffed into my mouth and i have to stomach it just cos i am not a grad.

ok cool down..

had the most restful weekend. went to upper pierce reservoir for some fresh air and i felt rejuvenated. then proceeded to eat prata tho lunch was just 2 hours ago. came home to rest, key in results, went to T3 for some zen sushi..ahaha we sat on bean bags, so cute!! ate sushi and saw lai lai..ahhh..this is weekend man..

its gg to be hols soon..beginning to get really impatient in class and just feel like gg on super long leave. it doesnt really help that my hols are taken up by the china trip and need to go help sis at her centre. i want my own time!!!

cant wait for bangkok trip with twinnie!!! hope the rooms are not too bad..and not too ulu since its rather cheap.

2008-05-02T18:22:00.003+08:00

just when i tot that the meeting was more of the usual leader-talk-the-rest-just-listened kind of thing, it turned out to be a surprise and in fact, more than more i cld digest.

time, charisa said god gave us one of these possessions which we are accountable for. i dont know abt you, but i am pressed for time, i always have this "bad" tot in my mind, "just send a msg and get excused for dance" many times i applaud myself for nt giving in to that tot and just go on to serve and tho i come back with aches and fatigue, i served with all that i have. but of cos, when i really need to mark and be a responsible 'cher, i just send the msg over knowing that i wont get condemned.

so now, how cld you say such thgs like "taking leave in dance is a condemned act and i will be deemed as irresponsible" well my qn to you is, if you think that you have geniuine reasons, why wld you think that you will be condemned? and how long have you be in this ministry? aint it long enuff for you to know that there is no condemnation here?

hw can smone claimed that " oh i have sought the bible and God has revealed to me that i shd obey authorities..why not we tk a vote?" excuse me, are you rallying support to go against your leader who has been serving for years and has not yet taken any leave and still put up with yr accusations..and you claimed you sough the word?

sorry being very emotional here, i have never cried at an agm, i mean, seriously who wld? well yesterday, cher, charisa and me did. i vaguely saw tears brimming in cher's eyes. cos we rem the times when we fought ourselves to still make the trip to woodlands, we gave up time to study to work, to rest, to think, to restore, knowing that God has greater rewards for us.

hw can a ministry be there to burn you out? who doesnt have a family? do they have a son who just entered pri 1? do they have ageing parents? do they need to work for a living just so that there will be food on the table at the end of the day?

come on, if you have time management problems, short of time for facial, spas, shopping, and what nots, do not proclaim that it is the ministry's fault..this is yr personal struggle.

yes we are abiding by a standard, cos this standard has enabled the ministry to be what it is today. why shd the the ministry's standard be shifted just cos you need more time for yourself now? has the ministry changed? no you did.

neh said that if a ministry mks pple happy and comfortable, more pple will step forward to serve. i beg to differ, that is a hobby, that is not commitment. commitment is doing what you need to do even if you dont like it.

if i am wrong, i deserve to be rebuked, if not, i can look forward to my rewards.

charisa i love you, you have been the greatest leader to me.

2008-04-10T16:21:00.003+08:00

thks for praying for me, my cell members, our prayer has been answered!! hahah...my observation is finally over..i also got my tma result, rather sad but am thankful that i did better than i thought. its the first assignment that i really have no idea of what to write and its the module that makes me feel like giving up...especially when the grades dont help at all...

time really flies like a rocket these days..before i know it, its time to wake up and get back to work again..

do i feel productive? yes..cos its non-stop work

do i feel satisfied? no..cos its non-stop work

am i happy? no..cos its non-stop work

am i gg crazy? yes..cos its non-stop work

i really enjoy giving devotion recently..hahah tho my singing sucks!!

2008-04-10T16:12:00.002+08:00

不知怎么的，心里有一种挫败感。好像觉得自己哪里不对劲？批阅工作越堆越多，自己读书的成绩，越靠越烂，心情每天漂浮不定。

是对自己的要求过高，还是根本就没有能力，是自己在勉强自己有突破吗？

心里暗藏了一股放弃的动力。。。

就这样既来之，则安之吗？

2008-04-07T20:52:00.002+08:00

it perplexes me how i could stay in school until 6pm and not marked a single piece of paper. in order to make me feel beta, i decided to write down what i have done for the day and assure myself that i have not wasted the time away..cool..

never have i felt such tremendous work pressure and really feel like just giving it up..i wonder whats the point? since i am always clearing up pple's mess and leaving my own work to the very end. how can estimated potential and being rewarded with pb stem from different theories?

you mean someone who is hardworking and being rewared with pb is not smone with potential? when you reward someone with pb doesnt mean he/she has the potential? so we are right, arent we? we are being rewarded as just workers..whereas those who slack, those who just give brith, whose who are always on mc have the potential to work? on maternity leave also can get promoted?!! sigh..wonder the formula for these decisions..

stretched my plastic friend last sat and bought 3 dresses at qoosh..my ultimate dress shop at vivo..i found out that there is another outlet at far east!! another reason to go far east..my one stop shop! for that nice designs..i think its a good deal!

bought necklace, pearl earrings and leggings...ahh..love my plastic friend..

kei you shd come shop with me, i will teach you to stretch your $$! hahah..

drifting in and out of disappointments now and then..its crazy at times..alright stay +ve, come what may.

give me a gd reason to stay..

2008-03-27T19:44:00.002+08:00

不选择去讨论，并不代表我不在乎。实质上，我在乎的事情数也数不清，但是既然已决定要放轻松，要更开心，那还是把心放在值得我关心的地方吧。

失望吗？当然，当然，自问自己有哪一点没做得比别人好。大学生真的比我做得更好吗？凭什么？一张文凭？自己付出的，真的比他们少吗？

只能对自己安慰，对自己说，“算了，向前看吧！”

眼看着自己教过的学生，竟然哭着要逃课，为了就是因为要躲开新的老师，我的心都快碎了。我所为他们做的一切，就这样被扼杀了。做这样的决定真的是为学生好吗？还是为了减少麻烦？为了捍卫名誉，而做出这种决定？我恨透了这样的做法！

孩子们，你们加油吧！千万不要放弃自己！

2008-03-25T22:23:00.003+08:00

the interview i went for was really an eye opener and it was really fun to don the renowned kebaya..ahahah i though i look quite cute in it. heheh..

good friday just passed by in a glimpse. the hours and hours of dance practices were amazing and it really stretched me physically, mentally and spiritually. it added on to the challenges i am facing this year.

my reward came in terms of $$ ..ahahah...$$ will be rolling next month too. sigh..somehow feel a little motivated to go work now...materialistic? oh well...it really mks a difference once in a while.

while im happy to receive what my piggy bank has, i wonder what have i not done last year to deserve more? is it just cos of my ro or that pple just really tot that i didnt do anythg much?

my current ro encouraged me to stay, she surprised me with compliments that i didnt expect. i do feel motivated, its like finallly pple up and down do approve of what im doing and recognises me for my work. however, i still feel that estimated potential is just a diplomatic tool to work me out.

i feel happy for those who got better pb than before, at the same time, i feel that the school has let me down.

i really thank god for all the extra $$ i have now.

2008-03-13T18:07:00.000+08:00

2008-03-13T17:55:00.001+08:00

learn this song and sing with me eh..

2008-03-13T14:36:00.002+08:00

the first class plane

trolleys waiting in line for someone to pick them up!!

welcome to terminal iii !!

my boys digging into their volcano ice cream

i brought my boys and myself out to terminal 3 and the sight was impressive.

the restaurants are unique and some shops are pretty new to me and there's bodyshop there too, there's also outdoor, dian xiao er, crystal jade shanghai..i was just wondering if they will have crabtree and evelyn there..ahaha

met kei for kopi last night and it felt great that i could just stay out late leisurely without worrying about waking up for school tmr.

it felt even better than i cld slp until 11 am this morning...hahaha

i wonder if ill get blacklisted for nt attending all the core courses this wk..

oh well, looking for a new job seems exciting yet i feel lost at the same time.

i keep asking myself, do i really any other talents to do anything else?

will i miss teaching? what will make me stay in sch?

can i really tk it outside?

hmmm is the sch making me very insecure of myself cos i know there isnt any relevant experience i have or am i just being paranoid?

though i hv been popping medication every single day since the hols began, i act feel relaxed just being sick. no worries abt planning lessons and abt students missing out if im on mc.

too relaxed oredi...inertia to start work now..just wanna let time slip past..while i ROC

RELAC-ONE-CORNER

2008-03-10T15:22:00.003+08:00

" personhood is formed through making decisions. we learn to think and weigh options, we discover what we truly value, we take responsibility for our choices. God wants us to be people, not roboots and that means we must make decisions."

a passage i read in "THE LIFE YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED" spiritual discipline for ordinary people. A book which daniel and all gave me in o6 or o7 for my bday.

my reflections..

i told kei i was sorry for hurting her in the ways that i did maybe intentionally or unintentionally. my depression made me transfer the tension i hv within me to the pple around me. one day i will lose all these pple and it will unconceivable by then. i discover what i truly value...after each action we take, each word we say to others, they are all decisions we made.

"to whom do i belong? to god or to the world? many of my daily preoccupations suggest that i belong to the world than to god. a little criticism makes me angry and a little rejection makes me depressed. a little praise raises my spirits and a little success excites me....often i am like small boat on the ocean at the mercy of its waves."

according to the book, we all have some sort of approval addiction. we long to get some approval from our friends, our colleagues and of cos from our family as well. i find it very relevant and often think why am i so unhappy with the circumstances im in?

when i saw shiqiu at the wedding dinner last night, i miss the days when we were so carefree and happy during school days. tho since young, im a worry-warrior, i always looked to her and rubbed off her always-be-happy attitude. yes its true, each day oredi has enuff worries on its own.

live freely...

twinnie, thks for being my friend and loving me and supporting me all along. wherever we are now or in future, you will always be my twinnie and we can always go shopping and facial together!!! i love you being yourself...believe in yourself too! you are much stronger than you think you are. i love you whether you are in pants or your green skirt!!

kei, of cos i love you too. thks for tolerating with me and reminding me how much God loves me too. you are truly a blessing to me. thks for coming out even tho you have other commitments as well. your presence is very much appreciated. i cant wait for your wedding, its like one of my biggest event this year!!

neh, you have showed me that when you put god first, he will grant you all your heart's desires. work hard, god will reward you when you place his kingdom first. of cos, i love you too.

yoyo, no matter how far you are, i know we are always close at heart. thks for being there when i needed someone. love you!! i wll nvr forget the times when i was totally in shambles and you were there for me.

ok thats all folks....

from the not-s0-lovable-but-still-lovely-nahnah

2008-03-08T00:17:00.002+08:00

after attending good friday's rehearsal, i felt so much better. being able to dance and serve God in his house lifts my spirit.

im so proud of our musicians and choir. they are superb and i felt so energized listening to them singing every so beautifully to God.

as i was going thru my routine today, twinnie msged me. i managed to pour out how i was feeling recently and also told charisa abt it, i cried as i was msging her and toking to charisa, i just feel very annoyed..no, not with you kei. cos i was thking, above everythg else, i still love u a lot and i still look forward to your wedding. nothg has chged a bit abt that.

twinnie is right, this just me. straightforward and frank, mayb need to have more self control before releasing my emotions..cannot use that as an excuse..

but i do truly feel negative...yes must break the bondage.

i love all of you..

2008-03-07T15:31:00.005+08:00

school has ended for the term..finally after all the tears i shed, all the "i-dont-want-to-wake-up mornings", all the marking tho im still not done yet and all the ups and downs in school.

my reflection for the past 10 weeks..

erractic weather

warm classrooms

begin to enjoy chilling at wala

aft seeing the results of my lsp class, i donno if i shd be happy or sad. i have 6 passes out of the 16 in class. i have nvr seen this kind of results but i know their best is yet to be. i hope the next one teaching them will bring them to a higher level which i have not done for them. anyway, i guess im feeling gd cos at least 6 mk it,right? look at their positive side...

my p5's work is improving slightly but i guess i need to mk more effort to try to teach the way they learn, but how? i dunno yet.

still feel lonely in school tho im surrounded by pple but somehow its different. pple i wanna tok to are always too busy exp for daniel who tried to mk time for me even tho he is busy and thats precisely why i dont go look for him oredi.

been drifting away from eveyone else even with pple at home, dont reallly see justin in school, obviously dont see didi. sometimes bro just cm home to hibernate in his room and im either to early at home or too late at home. no more dinners at home..sad.

pple have many sides, hw you want to take their comments and their actions depends on you.

when im tired, its my fault for sleeping late. when im angry, its my fault for being short-tempered, when im upset, its cos i take things too hard. when i dont apologise, its cos im too prideful. what abt how pple hv made me feel?

still want to remember that no one can tk my happiness away from me, still trying to contain my unhappiness.

when one person does smthg differently, its a taboo but when 10 pple do the same thg differently, its innovation.

its not how long you stay in office, its how much you have accomplished.

"you oredi know she is like that, just let her be and be yourself" doesnt really mk me feel any better.

have learnt to just walk pass pple whom i dont reall care abt.

sch is nicer without her in school.

woah..doesnt really seem like i had an exciting time for the past ten weeks but yeah, its over, need to roll over and move ahead.

but there are stl pple who touch my life..

daniel, thks for tkg time out of your busy schedule to talk to me and listening to my same old complaints and sitting beside me whenever i cry. thks for being such a dear brother and friend to me. i really appreciate you.

mrs khor, i was pleasantly surprised when you just took my hand and led me outside and prayed for me. altho we are nt close but you are always my motivator, just by looking at the way you work, it shows that everything is acceptable and workable as long as the attitude is right.

mrs lim, its amazing how much energy and enthusiasm you have despite the decades you have served. its been my blessing to have a ST like you.

miss tai, for your cold humour. always making us laugh upside down while you dont laugh at all.

gina, for being a responsible and approachable ro.

i want to go to the beach next week...

kei suggested gg for ballroom dancing toget nt a bad idea but maybe shd just hit the gym first right since its cheaper.

ok look forward to new and nicer thgs...aiming to dye my hair soon.

wanted to ask kei to use this song as one of her wedding songs...

2008-03-06T19:04:00.002+08:00

my nails are now screaming in glowing red,i like!!!

on the side...eyes are always painful after 6, dark circles will start to show after 6 too...ahhhhhh..are these signs of a*e*ng?

ok no matter what..do it gracefully...continue to shop and pamper myself while i still make a difference to my physique...so bring on more clothes, jap food, pedicures and nice shoes please..

twinnie, cheers to shopping together!!!!

2008-03-06T17:20:00.004+08:00

hositility fills the air everywhere i go...well i am guilty of it too but its undeniably that others are contributing to it too. whats the matter man? isnt the environment we are in suffocating enough? do we need more from us? friends are for friends to complain to, to laugh at, to cry with, to show your frustration to...your friends make you love them and hate them too, at time. is it possible to have menopause at 26? hahah..at this rate we are going, im not surprised if anyone of us just hit menopause first.

something is missing, is it just cos of the timetable? do we need to be so far apart? my seat is not exactly so far what...in the same office already so far apart, what to do when we change jobs? sigh...in the name of busyness, everyone of us has our own excuses to do the thgs we want.

i went for pedicure and bought a pair of new slippers just now. splurge at crabtree and evelyn last night. so overspend this month but i dont really care now..later then cry.

as of now... i simply just need a gd break.

im watching ellen generes show..the audience screams and squeals at every single thing. they seem so easily excited!!! ahhh!!! wah!!! yeeaaahhhh!!!! well, i guess thats what life is about, just scream your heart out and live your life.

alright now, lets jump like crazy..just think LV is on 100% sale.

oh yah, i wanna love myself, even if no one does..

2008-03-05T10:18:00.002+08:00

i was extremely excited when i saw the results for my lsp class!! i shrieked when i saw 17/20 !!! wah!!! thats amazing!!! my highest in lsp is 17/20. extremely proud of them!!

as compared to seeing another better class, i was more like seeing if they met my expectations, was just glad that they did well too but they are supposed to anyway. i still told them to work harder and that they did well.

after ice cream last night, i felt great. i am so thkful to God that altho im so unlovable, He still sends me many who loves me.

thk you god,
thk you SHKY.
thk you huilin,
thk you bee kee, lai lai and dawn.
thk you faith, ivy and yve.
thk you melina.
thk you charisa and fabian.

and many yous...

2008-03-03T17:02:00.002+08:00

while waiting for the machine to spin my clothes, i come across an interesting article..

" balanced diet rich in essential amino acids, omega oils, minerals and vitamins will ensure a vibrant and sharp memory. Make sure to eat some form of protein with every meal-as nuts, seeds, beans, legumes or animal products.

Fish, especially deep ocean fish, provide a good source for the essential oils that our cells need to function optimally. Other brain foods include: apples, bamboo shoots, beets, bell peppers, celery, yams, squash, snow peas, pumpkin, potatoes, parsley, mushrooms, goji berries, papaya, pineapples, raspberries, oats, adzuki beans, black beans, chestnuts, sesame seeds, and (black) walnuts.

Micro-algae-blue-green algae, spirulina and chlorella-are easy to digest, high protein, and high-energy supplements that support healthy brain functions."

ok so me eating salmon is well-supported by fact that it booasts my brain power!! i also like celery, potatoes (potato chips!!), mushrooms, raspberries..hmmm looks like my brain is receiving healthy food. the algae thing do sound yucky, how does it even be of use to the brain? i bet it wont even pass the mouth stage.

supposed to leave school at 2 but end up sorting out my class list until 3pm. went to eat favourite yong tau hoo then walked home. the sky has been grey since yesterday...and the weather turned a little cold..seems like its winter oredi hahaha..tats cherlene's take.

some things i want to do during next wk's break..

eat ice cream
watch movies
eat steam boat
shopping
eat at waraku
eat crabs
sleep well
so some sports
walk along the beach
clear my work station

yawn...nah nah out..

2008-03-03T09:15:00.003+08:00

only slept at 3am this morning then woke up the screams of spongebob squarepants..yawns..mt target today is to leave school before 2pm and hit my pillow to Zzzz...then slp early tonight!!!

2008-03-01T12:21:00.003+08:00

went for supper with SHYK together with caleb and alan, though we had a short time together but it was a blessed fellowship, we talked, ate and laughed and vented our frustrations abt work and some plum soda on kei's body which pissed her off totally.

chicken wings were nice but it failed to fill my stomach.

according to the what i ate yesterday, neh felt that it was unfathomable that i was still hungry, these were what i had

subway sandwich.
one subway cookie.
tomato soup.
herbal soup.
nasi pandang
chicken wings and some calamari rings.

not a lot what?

anyhow, i felt great sleeping in yesterday morning, seeing the good friday dancers for dance and then meeting my beloveds for supper. it felt great that i was not burdened by work, thinking abt the uncompleted work. it was a good recharge for me.

in that case, i somehow look forward to resignation. though i know that i will miss my kids and the pple who has been showering love on me directly and indirectly.

i love teaching but i hate the system.

i have this inclination to msg charisa and tell her that i need a break this week cos i need to do my assignment but..... i will still go and serve.

2008-02-27T21:27:00.001+08:00

hahahah so funnie!!!!

2008-02-27T10:53:00.002+08:00

filled my empty stomach with mac breakfast at 10 am delivered with love...hehhehe..thks dear! anyway i made a few silly mistakes with the practice papers that i set and therefore sent out email again and again!! so silly!!! argh...

i accomplished quite a lot yesterday..well done!! rem its not how late you stay, its how much you achieve!! ok will always abide by this motto!!

off i go for lessons!!

oh man..tma not done yet

2008-02-26T18:02:00.003+08:00

a long awaited posting of the wonderful invention...introducing SIPahhsss....

the yummy straws that adds flavours to your milk!! officially able to drink milk now!!! hahahahhamy favourite is cookies and cream..

sip and then ahhhhh....

~~~~~~

yup i want to be a tutor and do what im supposedly am good at or rather i assume that im good at, and just teach!!!

oh well, pls pray for $50/hr and above offers for me!!!

~~~~~~

things i want to do next wk

go for massage
complete all marking, hopefully.
dont feel so lost without neh around
maybe dinner with beekee, lai lai and dawn or twinnie, kei and yo yo

but before all these, need to complete assignment first and never give up on what im doing now!!!

socks up, chest up and head up!

~~~~~~

now the p5 will automatically dish out their handbooks to copy the inspirational quotes i got from pastor.

isnt it wonderful?

now they are asking for the daily quotes and the readings i give them everyday.

praise the Lord,

my efforts are truly not in vain.

for once, E greeted me on his own, he turned and exclaimed, "wo xue tingxie le!"

i gave him one thumb up!

he really made my day.

now need to work on D and A.

God is good

all the time

and all the time,

God is good.

amen.

2008-02-26T15:12:00.000+08:00

hahaha...

fav song as of now, by maroon 5.

2008-02-26T13:22:00.002+08:00

officially scouting for tuition offers!!! ok during mar hols!! meanwhile, entertaining myself and my kids with veggie tales, silly songs with larry from youtube..haahaha

2008-02-20T10:03:00.003+08:00

so many things have been happening around, haven really sat down to ponder abt it..

"maybe its time you think for yourself"
this line haven really had so much impact on me until i met lin during cny, it just daunt upon me that..yah its high time i think abt my own path, what do i want here and now. do i really want to carry on like that or move on to something else?

my ultimate goal, own a bistro cafe.

do i really want to switch career? what do i want to do then?

quite lost at this point now.

my plastic friend, aka shopping spree, hasnt really lifted my spirits altogether, slping at night is more like an escapade rather than true blue rest. anyhow, going facial today and looking forward to something more exciting towards the end of the week!!!

dinner with the girls was cancelled, sad. being in diff sessions really makes the difference but let's strive to minimise the distance ok, girls!!!

feel very demoralised each time i walk past my shelf, knowing that i still have plenty to mark. i am not slacking at all but how come always dont have enough time to clear all these marking leh?

ok, look forward queenie!

2008-02-14T12:47:00.001+08:00

my mummy said something worth pondering a few days ago, "time doesnt change, people do."

wahh...

2008-02-01T17:16:00.000+08:00

ok the frenzy was overwhelming last 2 weeks. now that the camp and the paper are done, i cant really remember what was it that bothered me so much. well, call it lousy memory or good that i cant really register anything these days.

lets give attention the happie stuff!!!

i had an awesome birthday! i went for prepaid whole body massage followed by birthday celebration with my dearies at favourite miss clarity cafe. too bad, caleb didnt make it. i ate my all-time favourite tom yum spaghetti and hazelnut praline cake. dinner ended with me on a high, trying to to toss all the newspaper around in that huge box which my dearie happily brought along. i witnessed much effort in wrapping the boiler box which its so-i-can-remember-where-it-came-from and all the newspapers that were found in it. so well done!!! hahha...the first thg i saw was the amazing invention--sippahh!!! i burst out in laughter as i was searching high and low for it. well i shall leave sippahh to another episode. as usual i got few pressies from the lovely pple, i got vouchers, dvd and a pair of slippers. so thoughtful.

thks my dears, for giving me such a great time despite your fatigue. i love every minute of it and i love all of you. thks dear, it was an unforgettable day.

prior to the week, i had an early celebration with my bitchy friends at marina square. we savoured japanese food and i got a anges b bag! hahaha..addition to my collection of bags.

papa treated me to dinner and i ate long-awaited drunken prawns, ahahhh...immaculate taste!

not forgetting 2 bouquets of tulips and a beautiful stalk of lily from neh, andy and twinnie.

thk you angel for the mysterious choc, i really wonder who you are.

another good news, my bloatedness is going down, praise the Lord.

now i need more slp and inspiration for dance steps, good friday is in march and its oredi february now!!!

2008-01-14T22:26:00.000+08:00

very happy during the weekend, there was just a sense of joy inside me when i went to woodlands to dance! haven danced for one week and i felt that the week was so long and draggy. dancing felt good, esp when the whole congregation just gave themselves up to sing for our Lord Jesus. it felt good to be soaked in the presence of God.

sunday's sermon was excellent. pastor quoted 50 inspirational quotes, shall quote them another time when i am free-er.

either extremely bloated or super fat these days. can practically see the belly popping out without much difficulty. what has happened to me??!!! falied my first day of dont-over-eat-diet. it was going well in the morning when i finished one pack of marks and spencer's shortcakes at abt 9 plus then saw kei and twinnie trying to ambush me at my seat then we went down to eat though i was not hungry at all. huizhi asked me for lunch at 130pm. arghhhh!!! i just gave in to nonsense eating again..

ok shall try again tmr. i am gg to keep 1130am slot for my twinnie and beloved kei.

anyway, yeah they tried to ambush me when i came back after my last lesson, so happy to see them. kei looked like some jap girl today, with her short short half pony- tailed hair sticking out. i felt very loved when i saw them..haha love u all too!!

and kei, hmmm no.. no..i dont think ill love u if u r real ugly!! hahahah..

2008-01-14T17:40:00.001+08:00

ahhh..love this song..makes me feel so relaxed..

ohh baby baby ohh love..lalala

2008-01-10T21:30:00.000+08:00

marking a class of 44 is really different from marking a class of 30. it is one more hour of marking!!

shall learn not to take things too hard, especially their opinions.

shall learn not be bothered by how pple can just walk past you and invite you too, for lunch.

shall just live for what really matters.

shall love myself more and my loved ones even more.

shall keep myself pretty and happy.

shall hit the sack soon.